Levi Spandex

I made a solemn oath the day I saw skinny jeans coming back in style. I swore that day I would never fall victim to the 80's fashion comeback known as the skinny jeans or better yet, Levi spandex. Skinny Jeans weren't meant for people like me- they're meant for people like the Jonas brothers and the Olsen twins.

After all, who needs skinny jeans
when you can just peg your pants?

Well, the other day I gave in to peer pressure.
It wasn't my fault.
It was the sales people fault.
They're smart and cunning and full of flattery.

Let me rewind...
You see in Utah (and I don't know where else) they have parties.
But not just the regular kind of parties.
It all started with parties like Pampered Chef and Mary Kay.
Then it was candle parties,which soon led to jewelery parties and spa parties.
Now it's escalated into shoe parties and jean parties.
There's even fitness parties, photography parties, and other
unmentionable types of parties.

I've been to nearly all of these kinds of parties
(except to the unmentionable types of parties,
which shall remain unmentionable because this is a family blog.)

I don't go so much for the buying,
I go more to support hostess with the most-ess.
And the food. I go for the food.
For where there is food, I shall be found also.

So I went to a shoe party looking for shoes (and food). I found a couple pairs of shoes that called my name and made me feel all warm and fuzzy inside. I wanted/needed to make them mine. Then the nice sales girl comes up to me and the conversation goes as follows,

Girl: "Oh, you have got to try on a pair of pants to go with those shoes!"
Me: "OK, but I'm not trying on any skinny jeans. I made an oath, you know."
The girl slips me a couple pairs of jeans.
Girl: "Now go try these on, but the rule is you HAVE to come out and show us all"
Me: "What? There's rules to shopping?"
This must be why I've never been any good at it.

I come out in jeans #1:
The girl and her friends oooo and ahhhh over how cute they are.
My self esteem goes up.

Then I try on jeans #2 (which happens to be the skinny jeans):
I hang my head in embarrassment as I walk out to show the girl.

Me: Nearly laughing, "I feel like I'm in some bad 80's movie!"
Then I proceed to do some Jane Fonda/Flash Dance moves-- arms flailing and legs running in place with the song, "She's a maniac, maniac..." playing in my head.
Me: "Now all I need are some leg warmers!"
Girl: "Oh, we've got those too!"

...silence...

The girl and her friends ooooo and ahhhh even more for the skinny jeans.
Self esteem goes up even more.
They insist that I can't live without these skinny jeans.
I reluctantly give in.
And now I am the new owner of skinny jeans (and some happy yellow shoes).

I apologize to friends and family who took the anti-skinny jean oath with me.
I'm a trader. I realize that.
I can promise you however, that I will never fall victim to the fashion tragedy called harem pants...

Now STOP. Hammer time.