One Year Older & Wiser Too...

We can officially check off another year that I have

graced my presence on this earth.

My birthday was nice & sweet...

just the way it should be.

I've had some time to reflect on the wealth of useless knowledge

I have acquired over the past years

and thought I would share some of those tid-bits of

life lessons I have learned with you.

Just consider it my little way of giving back.

Things I've learned...

1. Salsa & chips can be a great substitute for any breakfast.
   


2. If it's brown and found in my house the odds are likely that it's NOT chocolate.
   


3. Hearing the phrase, "Mom, I kind of need to tell you something" is usually not a good thing.
   


4. That "tooting"- no matter how nasty it is- is always funnier if done during prayer.
   


5. Putting a little bit of toilet paper into the toilet is good.
   


6. Putting the whole roll of toilet paper into the toilet is better.
   


7. Watching your mother fish out that whole roll of toilet paper using a Ziploc baggy as make-shift rubber glove is best (and can also be very entertaining).
   


8. "Mom & Dad, can my family live in your basement for a few months?" is code for "Mom & Dad we are never going to leave your basement... ever."
   


9. They make "Kitty" litter for cats, why don't they make "Kiddie" litter for kids since my kids (Macie) seems to prefer the floor anyway. (Not a life lesson. Just a thought)
   


10. Red Bull does not give you wings, but it can cause bouts of insanity.
    


11. Dental Floss and small steel balls are not digestible.
    


12. Macie's digestive system continues to amaze me.
    


13. No matter how many times you threaten your child and try to lower their self esteem they continue to cut their own hair... and shave off half of their eyebrow.
    


14. Gum is not an effective way of fixing a broken piano key.
    


15. Everyone has their issues- some more than others. Unfortunately, I think I might find myself in the "some" category rather than the "others".
    


16. There is a fine line between "hobby" and "mental illness" (a.k.a blogging).
    


17. If you want to feel good about your mothering skills just compare yourself to the ever downward spiral called Britney Spears.


18. In this ever changing world there are 3 things you can always depend on; 1. A bathroom that will always need scrubbing; 2. Dishes that will always need doing; 3. And the "sisters" that will always keep sagging (unless you decide to go and get some help from DR. 90210, which isn't too bad of an idea).
    


19. The difference between a good day and bad day is a couple liters of Diet coke and a cocktail of anti depressants your attitude.
    


20. Never say never unless it's used in a phrase like, "I will never eat 5 cheesy double meat burrito's from Taco Bell and then decide to go skydiving right after."
    


21. Surround yourself with good people and if you're lucky enough some of that good will rub off on you.


22. The Beatles were on to something when they said, "All you need is LOVE"


23. Laughing is usually the better alternative to crying.
    


24. Life is full of little moments; it's up to you decide whether they will be good or bad.
    


25. One year older doesn't necessarily mean wiser too.