A case of the quesadilla's

While we were in Utah Macie came down with a bad case of diarrhea due to her strict diet of apples and unfortunately, not much else.

Well not too many days later Abrie had to use the bathroom. When she came out she had a look of disappointment on her face;

Abrie: "Grandma, I can't eat apples any more."
Grandma: "Oh ya, why is that"
Abrie: "I think I have the quesadilla's like Macie has"

I'm afraid that diarrhea will forever be referred to as "the quesadilla's" in our family for now on.

Eating Mexican [food] will never be the same.

"Congratulations, you have the 3 most annoying kids I have ever seen!"

This was not the comment I was expecting, especially after I had just endured a long 8 hour day of waiting in the airport and being stuck on a plane with three small kids. I was thinking something more along the lines of -Congratulations, you made without killing your kids and yelling profanities... all without a taking a Valium- would have been more appropriate. I felt as if I had just been slapped in the face. Who does this man think he is? I felt a knot in my throat and swallowed it down as to show no sign of emotion. This cruel mans unsolicited opinion was the last thing I wanted on the last 5 minutes of my anxiety ridden day.

After the shock of this mans harsh words wore off I was able to respond back. Being kind and slightly sarcastic I replied, "WOW,... that was the sweetest thing anyone has ever said to me!" He wasn't quite sure how to respond to that, "Ya, well those kids were screaming and kicking the seats and..." I tuned the rest out. I think he managed to throw the word brats in there. While he was speaking I thought to myself that if I new this man was going to be the spawn of Satan I would of had Kaleb kick the seat more often and a little harder. The whole thing was happening in slow motion. Why couldn't I just hit fast forward and not deal with this...at least right now (or ever for that matter), especially while my emotions were running high. By this time this man had managed to get every ones attention that were standing around waiting to get off the plane. Every one was staring at me, there was not a hole deep enough that I could have crawled into to escape this embarrassment. If there was ever a good time to yell TERRORIST! or BOMB! now was the time. Anything to get the attention off of me.

I looked at this man after he said his cutting words, my face still in shock and disbelief. And believe it or not, still with a forced smile (it's a curse, I usually laugh or smile when I'm trying not to cry) I said, "Well you know what?, I think they did pretty dang good considering they've been on an airplane all day long AND I'm flying with them all by myself!". With more frustration than before than man lashes back, "Ya, well you shouldn't be able to fly with those kids", I respond back, with peering eyes every where, "Ya, well unfortunately I have no choice and after all YOU were the one that chose to sit by ME". The comment that I really should have said was -Ya, well I wish I didn't have to fly but my Mom just died I'm going to her funeral- (sorry mom, your name was just the first to pop into my head) or -I wish I didn't have to fly by myself, but my husband just died two week ago- (sorry nate, again, just the first name that popped in) Awww, that would have been good. It would have made him look like more of an idiot and make me feel a whole heck of a lot better even if it was a lie.

Then he made some other snide remark, too insignificant to remember or blocked from memory because it was too hurtful...take your pick. Then I asked, "Do you have any kids?" (mind you, I'm still completely calm and polite, showing no signs of the tears that were welling up in my eyes) "YES, I have 5!", I was actually quite shocked with his response. Surely a man this belligerent and rude (and ugly) had never been able to get married due to a complete lack of people skills and the fact that he was, well.... an idiot. So again, very sarcastically and with a half slanted smile I ask, "Are they all as kind as you?". Again another snide and ruthless remark, "Yes, they are and after seeing YOUR kids I feel like I did a pretty dang good job". HAAA, I couldn't believe what I was hearing, not only was this man attacking every thing I am as a person -a Mother- he was attacking my kids. How was it possible that 15+ people could just stand around and witness this man verbally attacking me. Either they agreed with what this man had to say or they were cowardly. Unfortunately, my self-conscious mind leans toward the first option.

By this point the rest of the conversation was a blur. All I could seem to focus on was forcing a smile on my face as best I could and not giving this man the satisfaction of seeing me cry.

Finally, everyone started to file out of the plane. I took a deep breath, gathered up my kids (and what was left of my ego) and boarded off the plane. The whole time telling myself -be strong, be strong- while another voice inside was yelling -SHE'S GONNA BLOW! As I walked by the flight attendant she kindly said to me (not hearing the conversation), "Your kids did such a great job!". I managed to say a quick thank you, while I laugh to myself, she obviously had no idea what she was talking about.

I've said before in a previous post that I tell Nate that distance makes the heart grow fonder. It's always so wonderful to see each other for the first time. This was supposed to be a great reunion, he hugs me and says I missed you, I hug him and say, here...take the kids, I sooo need a break (and that I missed him to of course, but where's the humor in that?). Instead it was quite the opposite. I walk out, see his face...a kind face, someone who loves me, someone who would never hurt me, someone who would do anything in his power to protect me (seriously, you should hear some of the dreams he has about protecting his family. They get kind of crazy). Any way,... all I wanted to do was run to give him a hug and just break down and let out all the days pent up emotions, but I was still under the watchful eyes of the people who witnessed this heated conversation on the plane. The little voice, a little louder, repeats again in my mind stay strong...just make it to the car.

I couldn't even look at Nate, even saying the slightest hello could open the flood gates. Yes, the dam that I had built behind my tear ducts was about to burst, so I kept quite, holding back the tears constantly swallowing down the knot that kept getting stuck in my throat. I did manage to mumble out that no one was dead, and that the kids didn't do anything bad...that was about it.

The walk from the gate, to baggage claim, to the car was a long and awful one. As we walked in silence, scenes kept repeating over and over in my mind of what had just taken place. It was like a bad re-run that I unwilling had to watch. That mans ice cold words kept repeating in my mind slowly and maliciously as the first time he had said it, "Congratulations, you have the 3 MOST annoying kids I have EVER seen!".

Finally the car was in sight, a safe place for me to hide and let it all out...and boy did I ever. Poor Nate, I'm surprised he didn't just leave me on the curb and say call me when you get a hold of yourself woman or slap me and say pull yourself together you crazy lady! No instead he reacted quite the opposite, "Where is that guy?, what does he look like?, I'm going to go punch his face in!" sure, it sound good in theory. I love that he was trying to protect my honor and all, but lets be honest here. The only thing that Nate could ever hurt would probably be a cat (he's not a huge cat fan), but punching an actual person?...the odds of that are slim to none.

So we made it home. The flight was great. I just wish the last 5 minutes had never happened. And I'm trying hard....really, really hard to get over what that guy said to me. Unfortunately it's a lot easier said than done.

No worries, I'll be OK..."I will survive" will just have to be my theme song for the next week or so. And I've got to think of a better name for that guy instead of saying, "that man". It needs to be something better...I think the spawn of Satan has a nice catch to it (Nate's idea). Or I perhaps I could call him "the man who must not be getting any lovin' at home" (maybe that's why he's so ornery). I do have some other choice names I could call him, but unfortunately they all got edited out due to keeping this PG rated. Any other ideas for naming this man would be welcomed.

More joys of Motherhood...

Kaleb dropped my brand new bar of Clinique face wash in the toilet full of pee water...

I love being a mom, especially a mom who washes her face with a bar of pee soap.

What's life with out a little drama?

I think I have given myself enough time to calm down...I think. So, grab yourself a box of ding-dongs and a coke (possibly a tissue if you're the sensitive type) cause this is a looong one.

Before I continue with my story I must preface it with the fact that the day I flew home emotions were running high. It's always hard to leave home. Especially leaving behind a nice washer and dryer, and dishwasher...oh, and clean water. I mention clean water because yet again it feels like I'm living in a 3rd world country and my water is dark murky brown as I speak. I guess I should be thankful for that nasty water because it's the reason I don't have to do the dishes tonight. So besides all the conveniences of home, it's hard to leave behind family. It's hard to believe that my families lives actually go on with out me, but without me it can't be too much of an exciting life now can it.

Put that all aside and now there is the stress of flying home ALL by myself with 3 little kids. Talk about going on a diet. The surest way to lose weight is to fly alone with kids, the more kids you have the more weight you'll lose, I'm sure of it. The anxiety itself will cause you to lose your appetite for at least a good week and a half. I've actually gotten better. The first time I flew with just two kids I couldn't eat for two weeks I was so scared.

Then on my way to the airport I gave my Grandma a call just to tell her I love her and say goodbye only find her on the other line in pain and nearly in tears saying that she needs someone to run her to the hospital. So I'm holding back the tears having to leave her behind not being able to be with her.

So the thoughts of leaving home are weighing me down combined with the anxiety of being confined on an airplane with my 3 kids for 5 hours plus an hour layover and worrying about my Grandma. The only thing I had going for me was the fact that I had managed to shower earlier that morning. So regardless if a looked like a lady on the verge of a nervous breakdown at least I smelled good and had shaved legs.

Now on to my flight;

Someone must of been praying for me because the first part of my flight went extremely well. The kids were amazing! They were quiet and kept pretty entertained with all of my dollar store purchases (thank you dollar tree). The second part of the flight went even smoother than the first. Macie fell asleep on the floor, while Abrie fell asleep listening to my ipod and Kaleb watched a movie. I was developing a new found confidence in the flying with 3 kids by yourself thing.

We then landed in Chicago for an hour layover or as Macie calls it "Cago". After doing the necessary trips to the potty we had to stand in line for about 30-40 mins since southwest is ghetto and doesn't allow people with kids to pre-board any more...those lame-o's (how do you like that word usage? I thought it was a nice touch myself...Lame-o's. I'm definitely going to use that word more often). Needless to say the kids started getting restless being confined to the stroller. I've learned my lesson about letting Kaleb out of my sight for more than a minute...bad things happen, I mean, REALLY bad things. Finally they let us board and I managed to keep Kaleb close by. I chose the seats clear in the back for two reasons; bathrooms and less people to disturb (or so I thought).

The kids were not as good this flight, actually it's more like Macie and Kaleb were not as good. Abrie was an angel. Macie and Kaleb fought a little bit with each other, they would scream back and forth, and they would tease each other. This portion of the flight was filled with empty threats and bribery. All I can say, is that Kaleb is one smart boy and he knew whatever naughty thing he did he would still be safe from the wrath of me. After all, he was in the safety of the public eye.

Finally the pilot announces we were about to land. So the DVD player is off, the ipod is off, the trays are up, and the seat belts are on. I'm thinking we are almost done. Well, not quite yet. We ended up circling the airport for another 40 minutes and the kids were getting ancy. They weren't terrible, just typical kids doing typical kids things and wanting to get off the plane.

The time had finally come. I felt the plane starting to lower in altitude and with it my anxiety level also went down. We touched down and made it smoothly to our gate. I leaned back and breath a sigh of relief. I felt accomplished, we had made it back home with no problems or casualties.

No sooner did I finished that sigh of relief I noticed that this middle-aged man, that had been sitting in front of me, was staring at me. At this point we were all standing patiently waiting our turn to get off the airplane. Since this man was staring at me I gave him a quick friendly smile. He did not smile in return. In fact, my smile was met with a death stare (not sure exactly what a death stare is, but it sounds good). Then this man then opened is mouth and coldly replied, "Congratulations, you have the 3 MOST annoying kids I have EVER met!". His remark was calculated. Each word was said slow and meticulously, making sure not to mispronounce anything that he was saying so that I may, more clearly, get his point. I stood there in complete shock and disbelief. Did this man just actually say the I had the most annoying kids ever? (see what a meant when I said this was such and "Uh, uh,...no you di'in't..." type of situation....

That's enough drama for one night and trust me, there's more to go around.

I'm here...kind of

Well, I'm home. I made it in one piece (physically). Emotionally on the other hand...I'm a wreck. I'm picking pieces of me up every where I go.

Why, you ask, am I so upset? Well, I think I'm actually too upset to say right now. Also, if I were to write about it right now I would probably wake up in the morning to check my blog only to find that a mad woman has got a hold on it. So for the sake of trying to pretend that I am a calm, rational person I will hold off til tomorrow so that you will think I am still a somewhat sane person. Plus, I find that sleep has the amazing ability to make things seem all better...I just don't think sleeping 4 days strait would be feasible right now. So I guess I will have to settle for just one night of sleep, which will leave me still about 3/4 crazy... but hey, lets be optimistic here...at least I'll be 1/4 sane.

And while we are on the subject of sleep; I will be doing a sequel to "My husband the Narcoleptic". I'm sure you are all full of anxious anticipation. This one could possibly be funnier than the first one, although it will be pretty hard to beat the picture with Nate asleep and drool hanging out of his mouth shot in mid-air...that one's a classic.

Any way, don't be too worried why I'm upset. No one died or anything...at least I hope not. This just has to do with a comment that was made to me by an ignorant man about my children...

this was definitely a "Uh, uh...no you di'in't!" type of moment. Actually, this was well deserving of repeating "uh, uh..no you di'int!" twice (just for dramatic emphasis).

Home

I have passed the point of no return...that is at least the point of no return with a husband. Nate left on Tuesday back to Philly, which means I officially cannot change my mind about flying alone with the 3 kids. Thankfully I have plenty of time to build up the courage to get on the flight by myself.

So now Nate is back in Philly all by himself...I try to remind him that distance makes the heart grow fonder. I'm not sure if he's buying it, but for the time being that is the only selling point I have.

As for me, well I am thoroughly disappointed in myself only making it to Cafe' Rio twice since I've been home. I have managed to hit some other great Utah restaurants and bought plenty of grandma sycamore bread (that stuff is the best).

The kids are loving life right now getting spoiled with attention from their grandma's & grandpas, aunts & uncles, and cousins...it's great until we go home and they go through withdrawls...we go through it every time we come home. The kids get sooo much attention here that when we fly back home it takes about two good weeks of solid neglect to break em' of their spoiled habits. (the last part was a joke. I don't neglect my kids... at least not more than usual)

I wanted to post some pictures for my non-Utah friends who haven't had the chance to visit Utah, which is a shame, after all..."this is the place".

This is the view of the mountains from the free way....sooo beautiful!

This is the view from my front door...even more beautiful!

My mom has a major green thumb, a trait I'm sure I did not inherit.

My mom has the most beautiful flower gardens. People slow down when they drive by just to get a good look.

The kids taking a bath in grandma & grandpa's "swimming pool". And if you will notice Macie's finger is resting where it is most comfortable...up her nose

Me, joy riding illegally with the 3 kids through my neighborhood with no helmets.

Last but not least.... a working, clean, spider free washer & dryer (tear).

Best dumb blonde joke ever!

Being blonde myself I never get offended by blonde jokes, in fact I can appreciate a good one when I see it. I was online a while back and found this dumb blonde joke. I deemed it worthy to make the blog...It gave me a good laugh. I hope you enjoy it.

For the best dumb blonde joke ever
CLICK HERE

We made it!

You will be happy to know that I am alive and well. We {barely} managed to make it to Utah with no casualties. The flight went as good as can be expected with 3 kids stuck on an airplane for 5 looooong hours.

The kids were thoroughly entertained on the first flight...actually, I was too. One of the flight attendants broke out in a special flying rendition of Vanilla Ice's "ice, ice baby". The remainder of the 1 1/2 flight was followed by similar random acts of insanity by both flight attendants on our plane...apparently the altitude was getting to them.

The second flight did not go as smoothly. The kids were EXTREMELY restless. All attempts to entertain them were in unsuccessful. The 3 1/2 hours dragged on, and on....and on. Macie and Kaleb finally fell asleep the last 45 min.

Any way, we're here, we made it, and it's a good thing I'm not going to be doing that flight for another 3 weeks (it will take that long to build up the courage to do it again). Did I mention I will be doing the flight back with the 3 kids all by myself...talk about crazy.