Well that explains it

According to Nate;
Girls don't ever go to bathroom.
And girls never ever have gas.
And girls don't have any other bodily functions that could be found
repelling to the opposite sex.
Ever.

So maybe that could explain my excessive amounts of irritability lately.
Just a thought.

Pumpkin Carving Fools

We carved then...
(with claw bangs and pants pulled up high)

And we carve now...

except this time with three little kidlets of our own.

Nate will teach them the ways of the pumpkin carve.

And I will teach them how not to carve a pumpkin.

(I'm pumpkin carve challenged)

Highlight:

Kaleb dry heaving while cleaning out the pumpkin. Please note the gloves.
Pumpkin carving is not for the faint of heart.

I'm just excited we added to my one lone Halloween decoration.


.

The Definition of a Bubble Bath

The bigger the jets, the better the bubbles.

The better the bubbles, the bigger the mess.

And the the bigger the mess, the better the fun.

The kids made sure to leave lots of fun all around the bathroom for me.

They're thoughtful like that.

Time for some more random

1. I have pan full of brownies... again.
2. But this time I opted to eat some carrot cake.
3. To be exact, I had 2 slices for lunch yesterday and for dessert a brownie.
4. Today I had fish and green beans for lunch.
5. Then 2 slices of carrot cake (with cream cheese frosting).
6. Why do I always feel the need to make confessions on this blog?
7. I'm really a shoe size 7.5 but I tell people I wear size 7.
8.There I go again.

9. I think I'm coming down with the swine flu.
10. It's my fault
11. I didn't wash my hands good enough after reading my sister-in-laws post about being sick and afflicted with the H1N1 virus.
12. Make sure to wash your hands twice after reading this blog.
13. And double up on the hand sanitizer.
14. I might be contagious.

15. Contradictory to this recent post, I found this pillow from Pier1 that I must have.



15. It makes me feel all sorts of HAPPY.
17. Plus it's on SALE.

18. Nate and I had a discussion about making out in high school
19. He made reference to a friend and used the phrase, "He totally pieced her"
20. I corrected him, "I think you mean getting a piece dear"
21. Was it really that long ago?

22. Nate, if it makes you feel any better,
23. I would have totally pieced you in high school.
24. Multiple times.


25. Question is, would you have totally pieced me?

Giveaway

I'm giving away a family photo shoot over on No Biggie.


Head on over there to enter.

Now I shall copy & paste from my photography blog because I'm too lazy to write anything different.

What to do:
Click on over to Kami's blog and check out the details.
• Leave a comment professing your deepest love for me despite the fact that I'm a deeply flawed individual.
• All professing love comments should be followed by an enthusiastic "AMEN!"
(not mandatory, but strongly suggested. Usage of the word "AMEN" will not increase odds of winning)
• Then sit tight and wait for the winner to be chosen Tuesday, October 27th.

Good luck!

It's All About the Benjamins

I have a thing with money.
I like it.
The only thing I like more than money is having it.

Ever since I was little I was a saver.

Money earned babysitting... I saved it.
Birthday money from Grandma's & Grandpas... I saved it.
Pennies found on the ground... I saved it.
Money I stole borrowed from my brother... well, I spent that.

But you get the picture.

Now that I'm older nothing has changed.
I still like money,
I still save,
but I've stopped stealing borrowing money from my brother.

The problem I have is that I can't spend money.

It physically pains me every time I spend money.

(visualize me doubled over at the cashiers desk breathing heavily into a paper bag, hand clasped over my heart)

And buyers remorse? I get that.

Nothing feels better than standing at the customer service desk, returning my items, and having the clerk hand me back my money.

I have problems. I realize that.

Is there some sort of support group for this?

Now accepting applications

In light of the recent move, I have had several friendship positions open up. I am now accepting applications for full & part time friends. *Benefits included.

Personal information:

Full Name:
Date of Birth:
Mothers Maiden Name:
Social Security #:
Credit Card # and Expiration:
(A small nominal fee will automatically be withdrawn from your bank account each month to cover your friendship dues.)

General information:

I am seeking a permanent position Yes____ No____

Present or Last Friendship: _______________________________________

Reason for leaving (if applicable)____________________________________

Available start date:__________

(must be willing to work holidays, late nights, and weekends)

Have you ever been convicted of a crime? __ Yes __ No

If yes, explain number of conviction(s), nature of offense(s) leading to conviction(s), how recently such offense(s) was/were committed, sentence(s) imposed, and type(s) of rehabilitation.
________________________________________________________________________________

Please list your areas of highest proficiency, special skills, or other items that may contribute to your abilities in performing this friendship position. ________________________________________________________________________________

How do you feel about sarcasm?

Sarcasm is scar-casm_____ I’m neutral____ It pleases me deeply _____

Please rate your level of expertise in the following areas on a scale of 1-10:

Back rubs ______
Foot rubs ________
Courtesy laugh ______
Home cooked dinners______
Awesomeness ________


Multiple choice:

1. If it was 11:37 pm and I called in need of a pseudo therapy session would you:

A. Accidentally hang up on me and then accidentally forget to place the phone back on the receiver.
B. Answer the phone but say, “Tank you fo calleen Wongs Café. You like some ham fry rice too-ni?”
C. Forward all my calls to my cell phone.
D. Answer the phone and counsel. All those hours of watching Dr. Phil are about to pay off.

2. “Hey [insert applicants name here], do these jeans look too tight on me?”
Your answer would be:

A. Pfft, no! Don’t you watch the Jonas Brothers? Tight is good.
B. Sa-weet! Jeans that double as spandex!
C. It’s not that those jeans look too tight on you; it’s just that you should probably put them back in Abrie’s closet.
D. So, is a camel toe just as lucky as a rabbit’s foot?

3. I’m in desperate need of a night out, do you:

A. Suggest a late night grocery shopping trip.
B. Offer to let me come over to your house to watch your kids.
C. Suggest a late night grocery shopping trip and then offer to let me come over to your house to watch your kids.
D. Kid nap me and take me to the local cold stone, because nothing fills desperation and boredom up like a large 'gotta have it' chocolate ice cream (and diet coke).


*Benefits include being my friend, killer Sunday roasts, your own special ring tone, finding a place on my top 10 speed dial, and earning the title of Breast Friend.

Please send all applications ATTENTION:Ginnie
All applicants will thoroughly be reviewed and considered.
Flattery will not ensure a friendship position, but it may increase your odds.
Bribery also helps as well.
So does chocolate.

And pedicures.
And those yummy lil' smokies smothered in BBQ sauce.

And maybe a sonic strawberry limeade with the perfect crunchy ice.

And diamonds, lots of diamonds.

* * * * * * * * * * *

Currently

There is a half eaten jar of baby dill pickles sitting on the counter.
There is a cup of spilled sugar trailing from the pantry to kitchen.
There is an opened box of Lucky Charms laying on the floor.
There are scattered charms of luck hiding underneath the table.
There is a ziploc baggie sitting on the rocking chair stuffed full of Lucky Charms.
And in that ziploc bag there are plenty of frosted toasted oat cereal pieces,
but not a marshmallow in sight.

Macie is hungry.

Decorations, Bunco, ADD, Decorations, Bunco

This is the extent of my Halloween decor.

One sad, lonely little pumpkin that I won in a skillful game of Bunco--

because Bunco is all skill and no luck.

It was the first time I had ever played Bunco.

It can get pretty intense with a room full of women frantically throwing dice--

and cue the flying wax and the screaming hostess...

But now I've moved on from Bunco to hard core gambling
and late night trips to Reno.
Must.Roll.Dice.
Bunco was just the stepping stone to my new addiction.

Now that I'm off topic and used the word Bunco 6 too many times...

Blame it on the ADD...

My Mom always said I had ADD...

My Mom makes really good hot fudge...

Hot fudge would be perfect on some Cold Stone cake batter ice cream...

Cold Stone is good, but Rita's is heaven...

If I want to go to heaven I should probably stop gambling...

I've actually never gambled in my life...

That's a lie, I have gambled. I won $120 off of $5 in a game of Spanish blackjack and I don't even speak Spanish...

Oh, look! Something shiny...

So where was I?

Halloween decorations or the lack there of.

I really feel bad about my non-Halloween decorations.

I know I am depriving my kidlets of fond childhood memories like the ones I have;

carefully pulling out the balloon pumpkin from its dusty brown box,

hanging the huge prickly spider from the antique light in the entryway,

and the cackling witch that would sound any time a loud noise was made--

it cackled more often than not.

I think it's time to get crafting and hit the local target.

Or just wait a few weeks for it to all go on sale,

stock up,

and then make memories next year.

So, anyone want to play Bunco or better yet, hit the slots in Reno?

Green Thumb

Weeds...

We know how to grow 'em.

Next years to-do list:
Landscape