5 years {and 7 days} ago...(the last installment)

7th grade health class (or was it 8th?) has scarred me for life. I remember sitting in the classroom watching the "Miracle of Life" (don't be fooled by it's innocent title) where it shows the all the developmental stages of a human fetus. I particularly enjoyed watching the 9th month. You could see the baby moving, sucking it's thumb, and kicking. You could hear pleasant laughter amongst my peers as we watched this unborn child playing inside its mothers womb. Then unexpectedly and with out warning the picture on the TV changed. To my horror, and everyone else around me, there displayed for all to see was an extreme close up shot of a little babies crowing head and woman's va-jay-jay. I didn't even know this lady and here she is wide open with her legs in stirrups and her va-jay-jay exposed for all to see. My stomach started to turn and I felt as if I was about to throw-up. I wanted to scratch my eyes out, but what good would that do? The images of what I had just witnessed had been ingrained in my mind FOREVER.

The scene out of that movie (curse you "Miracle of Life"!) kept playing over, and over....and over in my mind. I had now become that lady that I swore I would never be. The lady with my legs in the stirrups and exposed for all to see. It was almost as if my "womanly parts" had now become as common as say...looking at my elbow. Nate was on left leg duty while the nurse was on right leg and the doctor was front and center (poor guy...he has to witness the "Miracle of Life" multiple times a day. If I'm scarred just from seeing it once, think of how messed up he must be). Everyone was in their place and the epidural had finally kicked in, we were good to go.

The nurse, who was watching my contractions on the little monitor, was coaching me on when to push, "OK, here comes a big contraction now push!", "rrrrrrrrggggghhhhhhh...." at this point I should have been thinking about the excitement of having a baby, but instead I was secretly praying that my earlier act of desperation (taking the caster oil) wouldn't take full affect...at least not now, it just wouldn't be good timing. My quiet prayer was quickly interrupted by, "Alright, here comes another good contraction...now push!" I didn't have time to be worried about my bodily functions, I was about to have a baby, "rrrrrrgggggghhhhhhhhh....".

After about 45 minutes of, "hheeee, heeee, hooo's", "hheee, heee, haaa's" and "rrrgggghhhh's" my thoughts from earlier that day had been confirmed. Yep, she definitely didn't want to come out. She probably knew that her odds of survival were better in then they were out. She was hanging on for dear life and I didn't blame her. I was going to give it one final effort before I declared it a total loss, one last push (which is very hard to do when you're numb from the belly button down). I pushed with every last bit of energy that was left in my body and prayed that the doctor wouldn't have to resort to using what I like to call salad tossers (the medically correct terminology would be forceps) to get the baby out. "RRRRGGGGGGGHHHHHHHH....!"

"Here she comes!" the doctor exclaimed. My heart stopped for a moment. Really?...This child that I held inside me for 9 long months, that had actually felt like it became a part of me was on her way out! Out comes her little head, instead of facing down she was facing up and her little eyes popped wide open staring at the world around. Excitement and adrenalin filled my body and with one last push she was out.

The doctor gently placed this sweet new infant in my arms and I was flooded with emotions I never knew existed. My fear of being a Mom was quickly replaced by this new found love I was feeling for this brand new baby girl that was mine....all mine (and Nate's too). I stroked her little baby cheeks and held on to her little wrinkled fingers and just stared at her. I could have stared at her for hours, she was perfect! Everything I had imagined her to be and more. I feeling of deep love wrapped around our new little family as Nate and I held our little angel close. It was the closest to heaven I have ever felt. It was a testament to how much our Heavenly Father loves us and that He trusts US enough to place us with such a great responsibility as to raising this child.

5 years (and 7 days) have passed so quickly and that new little baby is not so little any more. We celebrated Abrie's 5th birthday last Thursday and it's hard to believe that my baby is 5. I always get those sweet old ladies in the grocery stores that would come up to me with face of longing and say, "cherish your little ones, they grow up way too fast". That statement couldn't be more true. I have enjoyed every minute and second that Heavenly Father has blessed me with to be with Abrie. She has given my life more purpose and meaning than it has ever had before. Every pain I had, every tear that I shed was well worth it. I wouldn't of had it any other way.

I am a Mom.... and there's nothing else I would rather be.

5 years {and 5 days} ago... (the saga continues)

"Can't you drive any faster!" all fears of child birth had left my mind and were quickly replaced with trying to control the intense amount of pain my body was experiencing. "Heee, heee, whooo...heee, heee, whooo!" or maybe it was, "heee, heee haaaa....heee, heee, haaaa!" Darnit, why didn't I pay more attention to how they do it in the movies or better yet, take a lamaze class. But in my mind, how in the heck could breathing help the process of child birth be better? There were only two options....breath or not breath. Although option #2 was looking quite tempting, I decided that it would not be the best choice, as I would not be of much help delivering the baby passed out on the floor. So breathing it is, "heee, heee, whooo.." still not helping. Perhaps a combination of both would be better, "heee, heee, whooo, haaaa, haaa..." nope, still nothin'. While all "breathing" attempts to find some relief had failed there was still a glimmer of hope. Off in the not too far distance, shining like a beacon, was the hospital. It was almost as if I heard a choir of angels singing, "hallelujah, hallelujah...hallelujah, hallelujah, haaalleeeeeluugahhhhh!".

We arrived at the hospital a little after 7:30. The lady at the front desk asked, as I'm wincing in pain, "Are you here to have a baby?" nope, I hear you have great hospital food. Just came to check it out with my husband, my camera, and my bag of extra clothes....seriously lady.

By 8:30 I was all hooked up and ready to go (minus the epidural). Modesty had become a thing of the past as nurses were coming in and out checking me to see if my "womanly parts" were progressing. I was only dilated to a 4 and with it being my first time the nurses were taking their sweet time with me not in too much of a hurry, after all it's my first baby, how fast could I go? Well, faster then they were expecting. By 9:30 my whole body was shaking from pain. My life was passing before my eyes, I was a goner for sure. "Nate, tell my Mom and Dad I love them and I'm sorry about the time I held a knife to are maid when I was 4, and I'm sorry for the time they made me sit at the dinner table until I ate my mashed carrots and when they left the room I scraped the plate clean behind the china cabinet to get rid of any evidence of the uneaten food, oh, and I'm also sorry for the time that I wanted to stay home from school, so I played sick and got some eggs and bread, old food from the fridge, mixed it all up and poured it on the floor to pretend like I threw up. Tell them I'm sorry for all of that........."

Where the heck was my epidural? Nate tried helplessly to comfort me, but his attempts were met with, "honey, I love you...but could you just NOT touch me right now!". Finally by 10:30 the anaesthesiologist walks in, "how you doing sweetie?", no reply..."Are you ready for this?" no reply..."Now, I just need you to curl up in a little ball and hold very still. Any sudden movement might make me slip and paralyze you for life and we don't want that to happen now do we...so remember again, hold very still" OK he didn't say the last part but we all know that's what he was probably thinking. After holding still for what seemed like an eternity (and a loud popping sensation) my epidural was complete. I never thought I would be so happy a nearly 4 inch needle placed in my back.

Shortly after receiving my epidural I was checked to see if I had made in progress during the past 2 agonizing hours of pain and suffering. To the nurses surprise I was a 10+ and ready to push...wait a sec. I can't push yet! My epidural hasn't kicked in. This was not how I imagined it to go. Coming from the next room over I hear a loud, uncontrollable, ear piercing scream, "what was that?" I asked the nurse. "Oh, that lady didn't get her epidural because the anesthesiologist was in here with you". Some where deep down I felt a little guilty that I was the lucky one (I'm mean really, really, really, deep down...some where...I think) but for the most part I was thinking better her go natural then me.

The doctor pops into the room, slips on his rubber gloves and gown and enthusiastically says, "Let's have us a baby!". Hey, let's not be too peppy here. It's not as if all I have to do is cough and the baby comes flying out. NO.... you're making this sound way too easy....

I promise I do eventually have the baby. But again, time (and my husband) won't allow me to continue. So,

to be continued... again...

September 28th 2007

I swore when I woke up this morning that it was suppose to be September 17th but when walked passed the calendar I took a look at it only to find that September 17th had come and gone and that it was in fact the 28th of September. Did I some how manage to sleep for two weeks straight (I know I'm tired...but not THAT tired). Or did I accidentally enter some sort of time travel paradox that only I am aware of (suddenly the Twilight Zone theme starts playing in my head...doo, doo, doo, do...doo, doo, doo, doo). If that was the case then why couldn't I have gone back in time when I use to be skinny and the "sisters" were still perky. Either way I knew something wasn't quite right.

Well along came little miss Abrie (she must have sensed my confusion). "Mom whatcha' lookin at?" Me: "I'm trying to figure out what happened to the calendar...do you have any ideas?" Abrie: "Ya!" excitedly, "I crossed 'em all off...it makes time go faster!". Who knew the key to time travel was so simple and why didn't I think of that sooner.

5 years (and 3 days) ago...

I sat frustrated and nearly in tears thinking to myself that this child that was inside me would never come out...maybe she didn't know how or perhaps she knew what awaited her on the other side, after all, she'd been inside me for 9 long uncomfortable months. That's 9 long months to get acquainted with my hormonal rages. I'd be scared to come out too. She's was probably thinking, that crazy ladies going to be my mom? Well after days, and days....and days of false labor I had given up hope. I was doomed to stay pregnant forever.

My oldest sister Stacy came for a visit in hopes to cheer me up (a hopeless cause). She brought with her a little bottle of caster oil (my saving grace). In an act of desperation I grabbed the bottle, poured myself 2 tablespoons and pounded it back. It slowly slid down my throat leaving the aftertaste as if I had just eaten of box of crayons (not that I've ever done that before...at least that I can recall). And then I just waited...

I was fully aware of what consequences might come from this act of desperation but that was a risk I was willing to take. You reach a certain point in your pregnancy where you are willing to try just about anything....and I mean ANYTHING, to get the baby out. So risking explosive diarrhea in the delivery room was a chance I was willing to take (as long as the baby came out with it).

The time was 6:30 (almost 4 hours exactly after I took the caster oil). I started feeling a massive amount of pressure and cramping every 2-4 min. I thought to myself this better be the real thing or so help me...I didn't want to jump the gun or anything and run straight to the hospital only to get turned away (which had happened to me earlier that week) so I just sat there grimacing in pain. Nate kept trying to get me to go to the hospital, but every attempt was shot down by my stubbornness. I suggested instead of the hospital how about we go meet my family for dinner, food {I have found} can be the solution to almost anything, so off we went. By the time we arrived to meet my family I was nearly in tears with each contraction still determined that I was not going to the hospital until I knew I was in REAL labor. My mom took one look at me (apparently my face resembled that of a cat or dog (which ever you prefer) that had been hit by a car and was begging to be ran over again quickly so that it may be put out of it's misery) she said to me, "Ginnie your my most favorite, beautiful, talented, awesome daughter..." (OK not really, but all of that is true)...what she actually said was, "Ginnie, I think you really are in labor"...me, really...could it be!? You mean that there is really an end to this pregnant life I've come to know?...then that's when the fear set in.

As we sped towards the hospital thoughts raced through my mind every two minutes or so (between contractions). This baby that I have been trying so desperately to get out is actually going to come out...what was I thinking! This was definitely "the grass is greener on the other side" type of situation. How am I physically going to get this little person out of my body (when I say body I'm referring to my...{cough, cough}..you know what...). My womanly parts had better get geared up for what they are about to experience. Besides the thought of pushing a football through a key hole, there was the fact that I was going to be a Mom. Me...a mom? My world was about to be rocked in a major way...

If you have made it this far in the story you are either a great friend, loyal reader, or really, really bored or perhaps it's a combination of all 3. Either way I must keep you waiting on the edge of your seat, what excitement and anticipation you must be feeling. Unfortunately time won't allow for more writing tonight.

To be continued...

For your viewing pleasure. Sorry for the quality, I had to scan it into my computer. And thanks Mom for taking this picture, you were really there for me in my time of need.

Here I am in all my pregnant glory. You know the "cat hit by a car" look...yep,this is it. There I am sporting those sexy bangs again (that's what got me pregnant in the first place). And I'm slightly irritated by the fact that Nate is smiling away while I am dying to be put out of my misery. Sure, I'd be smiling too if I wasn't about to experience the most intense pain I have ever felt in my entire life.

Cheap entertainment...

For those of you who wonder what's there to do around where I live, especially on a humble students budget. Where here is the answer to your burning question...mud...lots of it!

Every time it rains the kids ALWAYS come running up to me, "mom, mom can we please play in the mud..please, please pleeeaaaase!". I pause for a minute,...there is an internal debate that goes on in my head. Do I want to spend the next hour or so listening to "mom, mom, mom, please, mom!" (Me) "NO KIDS", "but mom, mom mom please..." (sometimes I really wish they could remove the word mom from the vocabulary and replace it with dad). Or I could let the kids go play outside and enjoy an hour of peace and quiet, but then know of the massive mess my kids will produce because of this fun act. So the internal debate continues. Finally the decision is made...any mess that is produced from this short but sweet break from the kids being cooped up in the small apartment is well worth it. This is the end result of me saying yes.

this is macie in heaven...

... give her dirt, mud or sand and she will be entertained for hours. Not only does she love to play in it, but she LOVES to eat it as well. By the handfuls might I add.
(You should try changing her diapers after eating all that mud...not fun)
Abrie, she looks sweet and innocent in this picture but she's really not...
...she's making mud balls to throw at Kaleb.
(see that naughty little laugh she's doing...don't be fooled)
Kaleb's also trying to look innocent...he is sooo not. He's actually trying to get me muddy
Hike up those shorts boy (I taught him that)

Again Kaleb, takin' us to the gun show

The doctor will see you now...

I haven't been able to write the past few days since Nate and I have been arm wrestling over who gets to use the computer. He needs to use it to write resumes to dentists while I, on the other hand, have to write about completely pointless and meaningless happenings of my days so that I can fill your life with joy and laughter. Both very worthy causes, Nate finding a job so that he can support my outrageous spending habits (those of you who know me know this is a lie. I will write a blog about how cheap I am another day when I have time to really delve into the art of being cheap...it should be good one.) Now back to worthy causes...and me carrying the responsibility of being in charge of my readers happiness. Think of the wieght I carry on my shoulders. I tried to explain to Nate how much you needed me. For those of you who struggle with depression I know it was your daily ritual to take a Prozac and check my blog. Well I'm sorry I've failed you the past few days but I decided that we can't live on loans forever and Nate should probably find a job.

Now here's a shameless plug,

anybody who knows a dentist out in Utah looking for a hard working, detail oriented, very efficient, strong, sensitive, good looking, chiseled jaw line, nice forearms, sexy smile, perfect teeth, great hair (hey, he was voted best hair in high school, I wouldn't marry just anybody), gives good massages, gimme some of that lova lovin' type of man to hire, well then Nate IS that man. I'm mean honestly, think of what type of business a dentist with those qualifications would bring in. You would get pre-pubescent teen girls all the way to dirty old grandmas (my grandma would be included in that) lining out the door just to see Dr. Nate.

OK enough of that...so yes, we've reached the point in our life where we need to start looking for a job (I say we because although he was the one going to school and earning the degree I was at home struggling through it all with him). I'm still trying to hit him up for living in Salt Lake, but the boy is stubborn and very persistent (add that to the list above). He is thinking like payson or Brigham city. At least it's not Idaho (Amy, Daegan I'm just playin'. If I could, I would totally live there. I'd especially like to live in Driggs, I hear it's a sweet place to live. After all, isn't Idaho the new Zion.)

In the beginning of Nate's dental career he is planning on associating with another Dentist. I was telling Nate they he should open up his own practice. Except it wouldn't be your average dental clinic. Here's the idea;

What two people do you dread going to see the most (especially women)...the dentist (unless it's Dr. Nate) and the gynecologist. Am I right or am I right. Since neither one is really one you'd want to go see why not see them both at the same time and get them over with. It's like killing two birds with one stone. The idea might take a while to catch on but once it does business will be booming. I even thought up a name for his business. Two words, that's it....OPEN WIDE....(think about it for just a minute....)

Nate hasn't quite caught on to the idea yet, but I'm still working on him. Just remember, you heard it here first.

1st day of school!

She's been waiting for this day for oh, so long! An hour and a half of painting, coloring, playing, laughing, singing, learning, & reading...what more could a {almost} 5 year old ask for?

This is her second year attending this preschool since she misses the deadline for kindergarten by just two weeks. But I guess that just gives me one more year of keeping her my baby. It's probably a good thing since I get teary eyed reading other moms blogs about sending their babies off to kindergarten. Why is it that as moms it is so hard to let go and see our babies grow up?

So for now she will still be my little day time buddy. I just need to remember to take advantage of every precious moment I have with her. Like Moms that have older kids always say, you blink and they are all grown up. (Let's just hope it doesn't happen quite that fast)

Tag I'm it...

Growing up as a child I was well experienced in the ways of tag. But for me it was more along the lines of kissing tag. Although this is definitely no kissing tag, it shall be just as fun none the less. Just think of the excitement...me, filling your heads with loads of useless & mind numbing information about my exciting life. I will see what I can do about crazy-ing it up for you. I can tell you are filled with anticipation. So without further adou I give you a small glimpse into my life; (maybe through reading it you'll find out why I turned out the way I am. If you figure this out please let me know)

4 Jobs I've had:
1. Payless Shoe source
*hey, I'm not too proud to admit I worked there. I made some great memories. Like once I got hit on by a 35 year old man and I was only 18...yep, those were the days of being hit on by pedifiles... {{{{sigh}}}}
2. Famous Footwear
*This would be considered an upgrade in the shoe industry. Again, lots of good memories. Like being hit on the first day at work by my boss who was 10 years older for me (how else do you think I got the job?). And heading off for St. George with my friend Jeri and calling in to tell them I couldn't go to work that day cause I was 300 miles a way. AHH, those were the days.
3. Nanny
*The little girl I nannied was crazy. We were driving once and she just started yelling, "stop hitting me...you're hitting me!". Ya...I know, weird. Then her head started to spin and she had projectile vomit...crazy, I know, but true story. (Teri if you're reading this I just want you to know what a sweet child you have. That whole exorcist thing...that's just a joke. Thanks for placing your trust in me to care for your angelic child. It was the best year of my life)
4. The Little Gym
*You never knew how multi-talented I was. Not only can I sell shoes and take care of possessed children, but I can also teach kids to do cartwheels and somersaults.
5. Dance
*I know this was only supposed to be 4 but since I've only had 5 jobs my whole life I couldn't leave this one out. I taught dance through all my other job experiences. My sister and I had a little singing and dancing company....awww how sweet.

4 Movies I Could Watch Over and Over:
I must first state that I do not like to watch movies more than once. I get way too bored. Maybe it's ADD, I'm not quite sure. I have managed however to think of a few.
1. First Knight
2. Notebook
*there's a few good scenes worth watching over and over...and over. (wink, wink, nudge, nudge)
3. Finding Nemo
*I have watched this movie at least a hundred times (give or take 1 or 2). You know it's bad when the movies on in the other room and you're doing the dishes and you start quoting the whole movie word for word (...swimming, swimming, just keep swimming...)
4. Transformers
*there's more than meets the eye. Seriously guys, I have no idea what I would watch again. I kind of pulled this one out of no where.

4 of My Favorite Movies:
I don't know if I can do another movie one. I'm going to change this one one. How about...

4 of my favorite catch phrases (I can tell...you're excited for this one)
1. "...Any hooters"
*This phrase is usually used to change a subject or end a conversation. It's very effective..., any hooters... (see how nice the transition was?)
2. "A whole lotta nothin'"
*again, another great phrase. This one is used when asked, "hey ginnie, what have you been up to?" my response, "a whole lotta nothin'..." it flows quite nicely, wouldn't you agree.
3. "...uh, uh, no you di'int"
*you need to read it with a little bit more attitude. This phrase is used in association with people or myself telling stories of how others have wronged them. Example; this is me telling a story to another person about the days happenings (based on a true story): "I was at Wal-mart standing in line and a lady cut in front of me and I was like (here it goes, are you ready)...uh, uh, no you di'int!". To get the full effect one hand must be placed on your hip while the other hand has one finger waving in the air and your head must be cocked to one side and then quickly moved to the other. It's great, you should try it some time.
4. "...for rizzo" interpretation (for real)
*this phrase was introduced to me from a former dental student wife. I have tried cutting back on the usage of this word since it annoys even me...for rizzo.

4 Favorite TV Shows:
We only get the local networks. I know...I'm so deprived. I will be setting up a fund where you can donate to the "6 channels just isn't enough fund". With your donations you can give some one in need (me) cable like most normal people. I accept all major credit cards and checks can be written directly to me. Now on with the list...
1. Grey's Anatomy
2. Lost
3. House
4. The Office

4 Favorite Reality TV Shows:
1. So You Think You Can Dance (dance, dance..)
2. American Idol
3. America's next top model
*Hey don't knock it. Modeling is really hard stuff.
4. Extreme make-over home edition

4 of My Favorite Places I Have Been:
There are sooo many more than 4, but if I have to choose...
1. Israel
2. Peru (machu-picchu and the amazon...all of it AMAZING)
*You don't know what humidity it is until you've been there..hot stuff!
3. Egypt
4. Utah
*I miss the mountains. It's "the place" after all.

4 Favorite Foods:
1. French toast
2. Cafe rio'
*I've said it once, I'll say it again. Pork burrito enchilada style, black beans, mild sauce, hold the peco and add diced tomatoes. Oh ya, and throw in a diet coke
3. I real Philly Cheese steak
4. Shrimp and chicken bang bang from Cheese Cake Factory....mmmmm!

4 Websites I Check Daily:
I'm rarely on the computer. But in that rare occasion that I do get on (I hope you can sense the sarcasm), here is what I check...
1. blogger
2. hotmail
3. My family
4. Craigslist
Sorry, I have to add a 5th
5. Two peas in a bucket

4 Hobbies:
1. Photography
*We have already covered this in my last post
2. Scrap booking
*Except I haven't done it for like year...I guess that means I better stop taking pictures.
3. Working out
*I know I'm a little odd, but I love it.
4. Hanging out with my friends in the courtyard (I can't think of anything else)
*Let me tell you, it can get pretty crazy when you've been sitting outside doing completely nothing and talking with friends all day...good times to be had by all.

4 Friends I Would Like to Tag:
1. Jenny
*you rock!
2. Allison
*you rock as well!
3. Janae
*And of course you rock...you're related to me!
4. Amy
*Same goes for you sweetheart. If you're related to me...well, you know the rest.

As if one blog wasn't enough...

Well, I have found a new hobby besides blogging and watching TV...It's photography and I absolutely love it! So I've started another blog just for my pictures. To get to my photog-blog CLICK HERE. I'd love to hear what you think! Merilee, one of my good friends, has also started a photo-blog with me. If you want to check hers out CLICK HERE.

I was just playing around with the kids and took this picture. I love looking at their little knocked knees and toesies...It makes me smile :)

You look a little constipated...

So we took Kaleb to the doctor yesterday. What was her diagnosis? Constipation. Yep,...nothing a good BM can't fix. If only all of our problems could be fixed that easy (with a good BM). Some of you would be problem free at the same time every day, while others of who aren't so regular wouldn't be quite as fortunate.

A while back Kaleb had this same problem, the doctor had us go get an abdominal X-ray. It showed that Kaleb was really backed up, so this isn't an uncommon problem for him. Apparently, living on chicken nuggets, grilled cheese sandwiches, and pancakes won't keep you regular. The boy needs some roughage. But the only way he would eat a green vegetable would be dipped in chocolate, sprinkled with sugar, and deep fried and even then I doubt he would eat it.

So what ends up happening is Kaleb gets constipated which starts a chain reaction. It backs up his whole system causing his acid reflux to act up and be more severe. (poor kid)

Like I said before... it's nothing a good BM (and a laxative) can't fix.

*And any idea's out there to get the boy to eat his veggies?