Can You Hear Me?... Can You Hear Me Now?

I’ve read the rules, signed the papers, and have officially joined the club of cell phone owners. I hope I can live up to this responsibility. I know, I know. Big step. I’m moving up in the world of technology. I’m pretty sure I’m one of the only people I know that hasn’t owned a cell phone. Well, there was this one time that I worked at Payless Shoes (not one of the finest points in my life) and a guy came in and tried to sell me a cell phone. I bought it, started feeling guilty then called him back within 10 minutes and returned it. But during those 10 brief minutes of cell phone ownership I felt so free, so accessible, so… so cell phone-able. It was a good feeling.

Since that time many, many years ago, I have been cell phone-less. It’s been tough, but I’ve managed to make it through. I’ve gone over what-would-you-do scenarios in my head if I was left with a problem where I desperately needed a cell phone. One of the greatest needs for a cell phone would be if my car broke down (totally feasible), what would I do if I couldn’t call anyone due to the fact that I didn’t own a cell phone? Well, I would do what any self respecting woman would do. Put my hazards on, pop the hood, and then show a little leg. Then hopefully someone would stop to help me that had a cell phone, and hopefully that someone doesn’t happen to fall into the category of psycho rapist slash killer. In which case, my whole plan would just backfire.

Or there’s always the scenario where I’m lost in the wilderness of Utah without food and water (totally feasible). And the only possessions I have is a nail file to provide protection and my skill of weaving tree leaves together to offer shelter from the elements. I would have to rely on my limited knowledge of making fire without matches (I’ve watched Survivor Man) then make enough smoke so I could signal SOS to passing planes. Eventually someone would come and I’m sure they would have a cell phone and hopefully that someone doesn’t happen to fall into the category of psycho rapist slash killer either.

Clearly cell phones are of good use.

So I’ve been brushing up on my text talk. I’m not quite sure if I’m cut out for this texting stuff. It’s serious business. It takes me 10 minutes to write just one word, but since I’ve been practicing I’ve shaved nearly 3 minutes off my text time bringing it down to 7 minutes and 36 seconds per one word. I found It useful to just give everything an acronym and I’ve made up some of my own;

SUNFW- Shut Up, No Freakin’ Way!
CYSST?- Can You Super Size That? (This one I mostly use through the drive thru at McDonalds. They have no idea what you’re saying, but it sure cuts down on your ordering time.)
DTPMMLF?- Does This Phone Make Me Look Fat?
MM@CR- Meet Me At Café Rio
LOL…ITIJWMP NR- Laugh Out Loud… I Think I Just Wet My Pants. No, Really.
HIOODC- Help, I’m Out Of Diet Coke!
?!- He/She said what?
UUNYD- Uh, Uh, No You Di’int!
DHMCIGF- Don’t Hate Me Cause I’m Ghetto Fabulous
IHSKF$... IGYGD- I Have Some Kids For Sale... I Give You Good Deal

Really, the possibilities are endless with this texting stuff. So fun!
Feel free to call or text me anytime (just make sure it’s between 9:00pm-12:00am Monday thru Friday, and weekends only). If you have any more good texting lingo I would love for you to shoot it my way.

TSMYATS! (that's text talk for Thanks So Much, You Are The Shizzle!)