The Famous Question

Why in the world did you get braces?

Before I explain, let me describe how the day went when I got them on.

• Woke up, looked in the mirror and kissed my brace-free mouth good bye.
• Got to the Orthodontist office (Nate came with me), wanted to cry, but held strong.
• Laid in the chair, felt the lower brackets with my tongue, almost started to cry.
• Lady walks in, mistakes me for her teenage child, on the verge of crying.
• Finally got my braces on, the assistance all came over, assured me that I looked 'super cute', despite their efforts... I still wanted to cry.
• Walk out, Nate holds my hand, tells me I look pretty, catch a glimpse of my new shiny grill in the reflection of the car window, and I totally loose it.

Have you ever had a really bad hair cut? I mean REALLY bad. I have. I was in 9th grade. I said cut it short and cut it short she did, so short that my brothers decided that Jimmy would be a more appropriate name for me... Jimmy, the little brother they never had.

I came home from that hair cut, looked in the mirror and cried like a little baby. The thought of wearing a paper bag over my head was looking like a viable option. Surely, the paper bag was the lesser of the two evils.

Well, when I saw my reflection that day in the mirror, that was exactly how I felt- except this was a 'bad hair cut' that was going to last for 1.5 years. So not cool. It was so not even cooler, being the braces novice wearer that I am, when I attempted to take a bite of a McDonald's Chicken sandwich and got bread 'all stuck up in my grill'. I cried then too. Nate still tried to convince me how beautiful I am even with half of a chicken sandwich stuck in my teeth. Now that's true love.

I got over myself a couple hours later when I came home and my kids decided they would still accept me as their Mom. They said I didn't look any different and I take their word on it since they're usually pretty good at telling me when I look bad, or when my breath smells...which is, of course, never. Gotta love the honesty of kids... sometimes.

So, your question: Why did I decided to get braces?

My Answer:

• Because my parents didn't love me as a child and never had me get braces.
• Because I wanted to bring sexy back. Like junior high sexy.
• Because Nate assured me he is well experienced in the ways of kissing girls with braces.
• Because I needed to make sure Nate was really as good as he claimed to be.
• Because I needed a new way to relate to my younger nieces and nephews.
• Because I wanted to give people the opportunity to practice their one liner braces jokes.
• Because adult orthodontia is the "in" thing.
• Because talking with a lisp is thuper thexy.
• Because I wanted to color coordinate my little bands with each holiday. You know, Halloween- alternating black and orange, Christmas- red and green, Groundhogs day- brown & light brown (in honor of Punxsutawney Phil). Really, the options are endless.
• Because I was running low on topics to discuss on my blog.
• Because I figured 1.5 years is really not too long to go without smiling or talking.

There you have it! You may all have peace of mind now.

Oh, and a picture of me and my braces...

This is about as close as you're going to get. I would have to get a ridiculous amount of comments to get the nerve to post a picture of me in my braces. Have I mentioned it's the full on metal mouth? Not the kind that are clear and much more attractive. I wanted to ugly it up as much as I possibly could.