My drivers license expired a month ago

I felt guilty knowing I was driving illegally.
Not guilty enough to get my license renewed.
Called to see if there was a grace period of how long your license can be expired.
There's not one.
They said I shouldn't be driving on an expired license.
I said I haven't been driving.
I lied.
They probably didn't believe me anyway.
Which cancels out my lie.

Finally got my act together.
Went to renew my license.
Thought of another lie I could tell just in case they got mad at me for driving there illegally.
They didn't ask.
So I didn't need to lie again.
Which is a good thing because I'm one lie away from going to hell.
And I don't think my husband can live in heaven without me.
Walked to the front desk.
Smiled at the worker guy.
He didn't smile back.
Can't anyone who works for a State facility be pleasant.
I don't think it's part of their job description.

Filled out some paper work.
Lied on my weight.
That lie doesn't count against me because everyone lies on their weight.
Had to retake the test.
It was open book.
Got 23 out of 25 correct.
I hate tests.
Makes me feel like I'm back in high school.

Took my picture.
The not so pleasant worker lady showed me my picture on the screen.
She asked if I wanted to keep it or retake it.
Looked at the picture of myself.
Thought "I should wear a little bit more make up"
Thought "Wow, check out the size of my adams apple"
Thought "I could really go for a tan"
Thought "I've had better hair days"
Thought "I'm so glad I don't have braces yet"
Wanted to retake it.
But didn't want to bother the already bothered lady.
Told her to just keep the picture.
Walked out the door with a legal drivers license
and a clear conscience.

Now I can speed guilt free.