Today (which was actually yesterday)

I cleaned Abrie's room. When she saw her room you would have thought by the look on her face that I had just bought her a pony. She ran up to me, hugged me, and then said excitedly, "Thanks Mom, I'm going to write this in my journal!". As she ran off I yelled to her, "Could you also write that I cleaned the kitchen and the bathroom? I just want to make sure that it's documented somewhere that I actually do clean... sometimes."

Today (which was actually yesterday)

while I was cleaning Abrie's room, Macie ran over to the neighbors house and asked them if the could go poop in their bathroom. They said yes. I'm just grateful she decided to go in the toilet as opposed to the driveway.

Today (which is actually today)

is Nate's birthday. I plan on kidnapping him for the evening (or is it adultnapping?) I also plan on sexually harassing him via text one last time (actually, it probably won't be the last time).

And just for your information, I've been informed that the correct verbage for dirty little texts are called 'sexting'. You can thank Amy for this tid bit of information.

Today's To-do's:

1. Laugh at my own jokes.
2. Practice my British accent with the telemarketers.
3. Learn to play Stairway to Heaven with the elastics on my braces... I've always wanted to play the guitar. Close enough.
4. Attack my kids with kisses.
5. Sexually harass my husband via text.
   
   
   

My Mothers Day

Sleeping in late.
Breakfast in bed.
Skittle filled pancakes.
Hand made cards with scribbled 'I love you's'.
Lots of hugs & lots of kisses.
Dinner at Grandma & Grandpa J's.
Ice cream sundays at Grandma & Grandpa G's.
An intense game of extreme frisbee.
Bed time & snuggles.
And a bunch more hugs & kisses from my three biggest fans.

* * * * * * * * * *

To the children who I simply adore,

I love you... every little bit & piece of you!

(in my best Austen Powers voice)
Mini-me's you complete me!

Mother of the Year Award

My friend Amy just informed me that I have been announced the 2009 Mother of the Year. It is with great joy and humility that I accept this prestigious and highly acclaimed award. I'm still in shock that I won. I thought for sure Octo-Mom had this one in the bag.

First of all, I would like to say to the man on the airplane that told me I had the three most annoying kids he has ever seen... Kiss my awesome Mother of the year, what! Yep, I'm still bitter.

Second, I would like to thank the social services for not taking away my children and making it possible for me to receive this award. Better yet, thanks to my friends, family, and blog readers for not turning me in.

I would also like to thank my three children that I birthed, love and call my own. I also need to thank Nate who shared a part in the birthing process -the more exciting, fun part.

It is an honor to receive this award that offers so much validation. It almost makes the cleaning poop off of the front porch, bed, walls, floors, and toilet worth it.

Check it out. I've made headlines. CLICK ME!

Sorry to all the other Mom's who didn't win. You're all winners to me.

PS- Yes, I did post a braces picture. Be kind.

Ham, Cheese & Mustard

Not for lunch,

but for breakfast.

Because some mornings it's just not worth the fight.

Photo Shoot Giveaway

Hey, guess what?
I'm giving away a free photo shoot over on Marta's blog.
So go on over and check out the details and maybe, if you're lucky, I'll show up showered to your photo shoot if you win. ;)

And don't mind the soft glow in the picture below; it's just my aura. The force is strong with me...

Just go over to Marta's blog and enter her fun giveaway... now.

This is Us

Sometimes I wonder where the kids inherited their cute gene.

This is Nate.
Sometimes he likes to smile like he's constipated.
And sometimes he thinks he's funny.

This is me.
Sometimes I think Nate's constipated smile is funny.
But only sometimes.

This is Abrie.
Sometimes she'll actually smile for the camera.
And sometimes (almost all the time) that smile is associated with a bribe.


This is Kaleb.
Sometimes he thinks he's part Ninja & part Super Hero.
And sometimes I think he's right.


This is Macie.
Sometimes I think bipolar and terrible two's three's can be interchangeable.
I say that, of course, in the most loving way a mother possibly can.

These are my kids.
Sometimes they're a little crazy.
And sometimes they're a little messy.
And sometimes they pull some sweet WWF moves.
And sometimes their tiny little voices reach ear piercing decibels.
And sometimes they make me wonder if I still have my sanity intact.
But everyday and all the time, I'm especially glad their mine.

And this is the end.

Weekends...

This is how I like to spend them.

The only thing that could make this picture better would be perhaps this...

and maybe a pedicure...

and maybe spoons to eat our ice cream with...
and maybe doing this in our own house as apposed to my parents basement.

Either way I still enjoy it!

The Famous Question

Why in the world did you get braces?

Before I explain, let me describe how the day went when I got them on.

• Woke up, looked in the mirror and kissed my brace-free mouth good bye.
• Got to the Orthodontist office (Nate came with me), wanted to cry, but held strong.
• Laid in the chair, felt the lower brackets with my tongue, almost started to cry.
• Lady walks in, mistakes me for her teenage child, on the verge of crying.
• Finally got my braces on, the assistance all came over, assured me that I looked 'super cute', despite their efforts... I still wanted to cry.
• Walk out, Nate holds my hand, tells me I look pretty, catch a glimpse of my new shiny grill in the reflection of the car window, and I totally loose it.

Have you ever had a really bad hair cut? I mean REALLY bad. I have. I was in 9th grade. I said cut it short and cut it short she did, so short that my brothers decided that Jimmy would be a more appropriate name for me... Jimmy, the little brother they never had.

I came home from that hair cut, looked in the mirror and cried like a little baby. The thought of wearing a paper bag over my head was looking like a viable option. Surely, the paper bag was the lesser of the two evils.

Well, when I saw my reflection that day in the mirror, that was exactly how I felt- except this was a 'bad hair cut' that was going to last for 1.5 years. So not cool. It was so not even cooler, being the braces novice wearer that I am, when I attempted to take a bite of a McDonald's Chicken sandwich and got bread 'all stuck up in my grill'. I cried then too. Nate still tried to convince me how beautiful I am even with half of a chicken sandwich stuck in my teeth. Now that's true love.

I got over myself a couple hours later when I came home and my kids decided they would still accept me as their Mom. They said I didn't look any different and I take their word on it since they're usually pretty good at telling me when I look bad, or when my breath smells...which is, of course, never. Gotta love the honesty of kids... sometimes.

So, your question: Why did I decided to get braces?

My Answer:

• Because my parents didn't love me as a child and never had me get braces.
• Because I wanted to bring sexy back. Like junior high sexy.
• Because Nate assured me he is well experienced in the ways of kissing girls with braces.
• Because I needed to make sure Nate was really as good as he claimed to be.
• Because I needed a new way to relate to my younger nieces and nephews.
• Because I wanted to give people the opportunity to practice their one liner braces jokes.
• Because adult orthodontia is the "in" thing.
• Because talking with a lisp is thuper thexy.
• Because I wanted to color coordinate my little bands with each holiday. You know, Halloween- alternating black and orange, Christmas- red and green, Groundhogs day- brown & light brown (in honor of Punxsutawney Phil). Really, the options are endless.
• Because I was running low on topics to discuss on my blog.
• Because I figured 1.5 years is really not too long to go without smiling or talking.

There you have it! You may all have peace of mind now.

Oh, and a picture of me and my braces...

This is about as close as you're going to get. I would have to get a ridiculous amount of comments to get the nerve to post a picture of me in my braces. Have I mentioned it's the full on metal mouth? Not the kind that are clear and much more attractive. I wanted to ugly it up as much as I possibly could.

Braces: Not a Fan

Dear chips, nuts, hamburgers, steaks, Cafe Rio burritos, pizza, and any other delicious food that requires biting and chewing.

I MISS YOU DEARLY!

Eating has not been nearly as enjoyable as it use to be when I could actually chew you. I think braces could be considered cruel and unusual punishment to someone who loves food. I guess for now, I will stick with your friends cottage cheese, yogurt, oatmeal, eggs, Wendy's chili, mashed potatoes, and any other food item that reminds me of what I use to feed my babies. I haven't lost all hope yet. In fact, if I get really desperate, there's always the blender to fall back on. If I can't chew my Cafe Rio burrito, then I will at least try to swallow it with a straw... OK, not quite that desperate... not yet anyway.

I think my new soft food diet is going to get really old pretty quick.
Last night I had eggs & rice for dinner. I kid you not. Weird? Yes. Tasty? Actually, yes.
I need some other food ideas. Have any?
And don't say baby food. I've already thought about that one.
Oh, and don't say Nate can chew it for me. I've already thought of that one too.