Closet Confessions

So a while back I said that Macie had started climbing out of the crib. It's been so much fun!

The first few days I battled it out with her. She would climb out, I would put her back in. She would climb out, I would put her back in. She would climb out.... (you get the picture). This would last anywhere from an hour to an hour and a half. I tried my best to stay calm and then I would ask myself, "What would Super Nanny do?". Then I realized that Super Nanny hasn't ever been in this position since she doesn't have kids, so that didn't help much. Then I tried a different approach. I stand by her crib until she falls asleep. Not as much of a work out as the first idea, but equally as fun. After several days of doing that I realized that it was a stupid idea, so I stopped.

Finally I decided to just let her figure it out herself. After about 15 minutes of Macie pounding on the door it got quiet, which means one of 3 things,

1. My child is getting into massive amounts of trouble.
2. My child is laying unconscious on the floor.
3. My child has fallen asleep.

I cautiously opened the door hoping that my room wouldn't be in complete disarray or that I wouldn't have to call 911 and brush up on my CPR skills (thankfully that was not the case), instead this is what I found,

Macie has now decided to call our nasty carpet floor her bed. But it doesn't stop there. The next day, after the 15 minutes of banging on the door, I went to check on her. I couldn't find her anywhere. I looked under the bed.. not there. I looked under her crib... not there. I looked under the masses of laundry... nope, not there. Finally I see some little toes peeking out from behind the closet door.

Macie had fallen asleep in our little closet (I would like to emphasize "little"). I'm not sure how she managed to fall asleep among the piles of shoes and other miscellaneous items, but she did.... and she still does.

Yep, Macie officially sleeps in the closet. I always start her in her crib, but she always ends up in the closet. Now what I end up doing is making a small make shift bed in the closet for her before I put her to bed, because if she's going to sleep in the closet I might as well make it a little bit more comfortable for her.

I realize that I might be setting myself up for a visit from the child social services. I can see it now, Abrie going to school telling all her friends and teachers that her little baby sister sleeps in the closet. Which will either confirm their suspicions of neglect or make them feel extremely sorry for us *"poor dental students" that we are so poor that our child has to sleep in the closet.

I also think that Macie's new sleep habits can be attributed to her fathers rare ability to sleep anywhere, at anytime, in any position.

( A couple of these you've seen before, but I definitely think they are worth seeing again.)

As for me, well I'm anxiously looking forward to the day when we own a home and have a bigger closet for Macie to sleep in.

*I must state that we are not poor. Nope, not at all. We have access to an unlimited amount of loans we could take out if we ever wanted to feel rich.

Diggin' For Gold

Really not much to say. Just thought your day might be lacking a picture of a child picking their nose. So here you go,

I'm thoughtful like that.

Short Term Memory Loss (or something like it)

I swear, I am not a spacey person (others might disagree), but lately I don't even know my head from my butt (OK, actually I do... at least I hope I do). My new famous line whenever anyone asks me to do something is, "Sure, I can do that. Just call and remind me". For example, "Ginnie, can you watch my kids in 20 minutes?", (me) "Sure, I can do that. Just call and remind me". Why I can't remember something that's only 20 minutes away? I don't know. And second question, why would anyone trust someone that has that bad of a memory to watch their kids? Hmmm, not sure on that one either.

So here's what I'm thinking; besides hiring a nanny, maid, cook, masseuse, and a part time pool boy, I'm considering hiring a personal assistant. I mean, why not? It's the perfect idea! They do all of my unwanted thinking for me leaving me with plenty of time to think about things like, why do I have this one abnormally long hair on my arm that keeps growing back longer, and longer every time I pluck it? and what possessed me to have bangs the majority of my life when all this time people were secretly mocking "the bangs"? and why in the world does my toilet still smell like pee after it's just been cleaned?... the maid must not be doing her job.

As you can tell I'll have plenty of things to keep my mind busy while I'm thinking about nothing. It will be great! And for those of you who are automatically assuming that I might be pregnant due to my new found problem with short term memory loss... rest assured. I'M NOT PREGNANT! Nope, little Pubert or Bonquesha won't be coming anytime soon. Sorry.

A Little Bit-O-Talent

Last week our church had a talent show just for the kids. I let the kids come up with their own idea of what to do. Abrie decided that she needed to show off her mad skills at telling jokes.

(Now for some inappropriate humor that Nate would disapprove of )

If you are easily offended by small children swearing (and you should be) and if you're offended by their parents who thinks it's funny (and you should be) then please... do not read on.

One of Abrie's jokes she tells goes a little something like this;
Q: How many sheep does it take to knit a sweater?
A: Don't be silly- sheep can't knit.

Well one day, while doing a quick run through of all of Abrie's jokes, we came to this one. Lets just say she got the words a little mixed up.
Q: How many sheep does it take to knit a sweater?
Abrie's response: Don't be silly- sheep can't sh%#!

I tried... really hard... not to laugh, because I don't find things that are vulgar and crude to be funny in the slightest (OK... maybe just a little bit). Abrie on the other hand was quite thrilled with my response seeing as I was laughing uncontrollably and says enthusiastically, "Mom, we have got to do that one. That's a really funny one!". My response, "Yep honey, that's a good one. We just need to make sure that you say knit". We still decided to use this joke, but if you notice when we get to this one you'll see a little extra coaching on my part and then a slight sigh of relief that she got it right.

And while we're on the subject of farm animals (because sheep live on a farm), I realize that I chew my gum like a cow (or so I've been told). I can't help it... I really like gum... a lot. Hopefully that won't distract too much from Abrie's jokes.



Next we have Kaleb and his freestyle gymnastics. His skills are out of this world. With his "cartwheels" that are really somersaults and a sweet trick where he lays on his back with his knees bent behind him (he likes to call it his "kneel stand"). It's almost hard to believe that there is that much talent inside one little boy. And once this little boy was out on the stage he was all business.... Everybody dance now...

New Header!

Doesn't it make you feel HAPPY?! I had some time to kill while waiting for Nate. He went out into the wilderness of Philly with his friend Daegan "bush whacking" with the new machete he brought home from Haiti. Not only are they great at cutting down shrubbery and unwanted bushes, but they double as protection as well. Such a great investment! (After all, you never know when a machete might come in handy.)

HOME!

Nate is back. I guess he decided that he can't live without my sweet lovin' (well, that and the fact that it was time for him to come home). He had an awesome week of pulling teeth and cockroaches.

I'll post some more pictures of his trip and update later.

Momentous Occasion

Macie's hair has finally reached pig tail potential!

I think I might shed a tear of joy...

¿Tienes Leche?

Because I sure don't. And at this moment there is nothing I want more than a bowl full of cereal (and a maid or a new car... actually, a million dollars wouldn't be half bad either). If my mom were here she would tell me to get a can of evaporated milk, mix it with some water and voilà... skim milk. Fortunately, I'm not quite that desperate... at least not yet. Tomorrow morning might be a different story though.

Nate, where are you in my time of need?...

Translation: (For those of you who didn't take Spanish in high school or either cheated your way through it.)
¿Tienes Leche? = Got milk? Honestly, it's not as funny if I have to explain it to you.

Getting Sentimental

I remember it vividly, as if it happened 7 years and 2 days ago. Nervous, excited, and wanting to throw up all at the same time. This man that sat across from me was the man I was going to spend the rest of my life with, this man was going to be mine forever... and ever (and that's a long time). Did he know what he was getting himself into when he looked me in the eyes and promised to be with me for time and all eternity? I don't think so, or else he maybe would have reconsidered. Me, a very less than perfect individual; a person who is sarcastic and loud and finds joy in playful teasing; someone who finds the most inopportune times to be crude and vulgar. This is who Nate was getting married to. How could a man so seemingly perfect marry someone like me?

It must have been divine intervention (or amazingly good luck), when Nate stood out on my grandmas small apartment porch painting it over and over trying to get the nerve to talk to "this girl" inside who had already placed her sight on this eye candy working hard in the sun (I've always had a thing for painters... not really). Finally, after painting the same spot over and over... and over, he got the nerve to talk to me. I was all ready for him, sitting strategically on my grandmas couch making sure I got noticed- was I showing enough leg or maybe I needed to show just a little bit more. Now was the time to put my mad flirting skills to use. Nate had taken the bate, "So, you visiting your grandma today?". Classic opening line, pointing out the obvious. All I have to say is, "you had me at visiting your grandma today?".

The rest, my friends, is history. I knew from that moment on that this was the man that I needed to father my 13 children. This was the man that would be able to take me, with all of my many imperfections, and love me for who I am; the good, the bad...

and the oh, so ugly.

It took Nate 3 months to propose to me (I was ready to propose the day we met). This was our stellar, hot engagement picture. What possessed me to choose this picture to send out to all our friends and family? I wish I knew the answer to that. "But Ginnie you're not even smiling. Aren't you supposed to be happy that you're getting married?". Oh no, all the professional models will tell you these days that smiling is out. It's more of the slightly constipated look that's in. Nate on the other hand is WORK.EN.IT (snap, snap, snap)! You might recognize this look from his earlier modeling days. This is the Oh ya, you know you want it look.

Hey, it could have been worse. I could have sent this picture out.

I'm not sure what thoughts are going through my head... maybe you could tell me. In my defense, I am blind without my contacts or glasses and I took them off for this picture to reach maximum hotness. I was so blind I couldn't tell how not sexy I looked. I was trying to go for the smoldering look. It didn't go over well.

So it's been seven years and they haven't been all bliss and roses (life's not always like that... at least not my life). But here are some things I've learned during our seven years of marriage;

• The longer we're married the more I fall in love with him
• Ever since we met for the first time we have not gone one day without talking to each other.
• I can't sleep when he's not next to me.
• Every night Nate falls asleep with his hand on my side and our feet touching... love it!
• I keep Nate from being translated and he keeps me from going straight to hell.
• We are exact opposites, which is perfect because we balance each other out.
• He is definitely my better half. But if he’s my better half what does that make me?... Don’t answer that.
• I knew from the first moment I saw him that he would be the man I would spend the rest of my life with. I scored. Nate on the other hand had no idea what he was getting himself into. Poor guy... he never had a chance.
• I look at him everyday and I think of what a beautiful man he is. And yes, I mean beautiful in the most masculine way. Grrrrrrrrr….
• He secretly likes it when I slap his butt, even though he tells me to knock it off (come on honey… I know you like it)
• I still get butterflies in my stomach when I think of him. Double grrrrrrr….

Nate says it best, "When we hug it's like fitting two pieces of a puzzle together. We fit perfectly".

Seven Years and Counting

Well I can't believe it, but Nate and I have been married Seven years today! And what am I doing to celebrate? A whole lotta' nothing. It's hard to celebrate your anniversary when your husband has left you. I knew it was only a matter of time before Nate came to his senses and walked out the door.

Nate left me early Sunday morning quick and with out warning. He didn't even have time to hug me and say good bye...(dramatic pause).... Now he is sitting in a foreign country, soaking up the rays and enjoying his view of the palm trees and ocean... oh, and pulling out lots of teeth.

OK, so maybe Nate didn't leave me for good. And ya, he isn't just sitting in the sun and boogie boarding all day long (at least he better not be). He is apart of a group called the Haiti Health Foundation where they go in to small villages, set up shop, and just pull teeth for people that have no access to dental care.

This scene from the Incredibles keeps running through my head. It's where Frozone gets all excited to fight the robot causing mass destruction and he's desperately searching for his super suit,

Lucius: Honey?
Honey: What?
Lucius : Where's my super suit?
Honey: What?
Lucius: Where - is - my - super - suit?
Honey: I, uh, put it away. [helicopter explodes outside]
Lucius: *Where*?
Honey: *Why* do you *need* to know?
Lucius: I need it! [Lucius rummages through another room in his condo ]
Honey: Uh-uh! Don't you think about running off doing no derrin'-do. We've been planning this dinner for two months!
Lucius: The public is in danger!
Honey: My evening's in danger!
Lucius: You tell me where my suit is, woman! We are talking about the greater good!
Honey: 'Greater good?' I am your wife! I'm the greatest *good* you are ever gonna get!
(Please place an emphasis on that last phrase)

OK, so maybe I can let Nate off this time because he really is doing some thing for the greater good and I couldn't be happier for him... really.

So what have I done to celebrate my anniversary while Nate's day has been full of injections, cutting, and pulling? (Sorry to all you dental phobe's out there). Well my day has actually been pretty decent. I mean a day without any expectations can only get better, right? I managed to go to the gym, wash the dishes, mop the floor (which is really a gift to my husband, because now he can sleep on a clean, crusty free kitchen floor... which makes me happy)

Later in the evening some friends stopped by and brought me the mother of all Carmel apples...

...I plan on eating it by myself and all in one sitting... Life is good (especially when you have chocolate to make it better)!

Moral of the story:
Keep your expectations low. That way you will never be disappointed.

Now those are words to live by.