Rainy Day

Some parents do arts & crafts with their children...


I just send mine outside to play in the gutters.
I posted more pictures HERE.

N' Stuff

-Abrie-

"Mom, I want to play soccer again!" ...

"Ummm, I'm not a well seasoned soccer pro or anything, but I'm pretty sure you got the outfit thing wrong. You have, however, followed my first rule which is, whatever you do, make sure you look good doing it. PS- when you're done with Macie's shorts can you please put them back in her drawer. Thanks!"

-Kaleb-

CrAzY hair day

He pretty much ROCKED it.



-Macie-

She keeps asking when she can go to the mall and have her ears "peed".

She loves to find "holy" polies in the garden.

She thinks playing naked in the sand doubles as body exfoliation.

She likes to lick me good night. I'm not a fan.

She can devour a bag of cheese puffs in a matter of minutes.

She likes mustard on everything.

... She continues to make me laugh.

May the force be with you

If it isn't already official, it will be now. I am a nerd.
Better yet, Nate is a nerd, therefor by association that makes me one as well.

My lack of blog posting has been due to a week long STAR WARS marathon.

The past six days,

from start to finish,

movies 1 through 6.

(we get pretty CrAzY around here)

I think it's safe to say I've had my fill of
STARS WARS for the next ten years or so.

Thunder thighs with a side of cellulite, please!

My brother in law, Dustin, introduced me to the books Eat This, Not That! The books size up the fatty food competition. The only down fall I've found is that it kind of takes the fun out of eating. I don't know if I'll be able to eat another twix again.

Here's some snip-its from the book that made me want to vomit juuuust a little bit.



Canned food can contain up to...

Pineapple..... 20% moldy fruit
Canned tomatoes..... 5 fly eggs or 2 maggots per 500 grams
Frozen broccoli..... 60 mites per 100 grams
Ground cinnamon..... 400 insect fragments and 11 rodent hairs per 50 grams
Peanut butter..... 30 insect fragments or 1 rodent hair per 50 grams
Popcorn..... 1 rodent pellet in one sample or 2 rodent hairs per pound



Cinnabon
Classic cinnamon roll
813 calories / 49 g sugar / 32 g fat (5 g trans fat) /117 carbs
You're better off to eat a regular whopper at BK with 150 fewer calories.


Cold Stone Ice cream
Dark chocolate in a dipped waffle cone
650 calories / 35 g fat (22 saturated) / 60 g sugar
Fat equivalent: 22 strips of bacon, "Mmmm.... bacon"
You’d have to run the length of a football field 109 times to burn off the 1,340 calories in the Gotta-have-it size chocolate devotion.



Worst snack:
Hostess chocolate pudding pie
520 calories/ 45 g sugars / 24 g fat (14 saturated)
Fat equivalent: 2 McDonald's quarter pounders




Worst drink:
Arizona Kiwi Strawberry
353 calories / 82 g sugars
Sugar equivalent: 4 fudgsicle bars

Ummm, no thanks. I'd rather eat my calories.



Worst candy:
Twix
280 calories /27 g sugars 14 g fat (11 saturated)
Fat equivalent: 11 strips of bacon
Twix contains more than half the USDA’s daily consumption recommendation for saturated fat.

Tell me, will you be able to eat another Twix again guilt free?



Worst food in America:
Outback steakhouse Aussie cheese fries with ranch dressing
2,900 calories / 182 g fat / 240 g carbs
Even if you split these fries with three friends you’ll have downed a dinner worth of calories before your dinner arrives.

And suddenly I'm not so hungry any more.

Question...

Does it mean I've failed as a Mom if my kids think 'home made' cookies come in a refrigerated box that says TOLL HOUSE?

Today (which was actually yesterday)

I cleaned Abrie's room. When she saw her room you would have thought by the look on her face that I had just bought her a pony. She ran up to me, hugged me, and then said excitedly, "Thanks Mom, I'm going to write this in my journal!". As she ran off I yelled to her, "Could you also write that I cleaned the kitchen and the bathroom? I just want to make sure that it's documented somewhere that I actually do clean... sometimes."

Today (which was actually yesterday)

while I was cleaning Abrie's room, Macie ran over to the neighbors house and asked them if the could go poop in their bathroom. They said yes. I'm just grateful she decided to go in the toilet as opposed to the driveway.

Today (which is actually today)

is Nate's birthday. I plan on kidnapping him for the evening (or is it adultnapping?) I also plan on sexually harassing him via text one last time (actually, it probably won't be the last time).

And just for your information, I've been informed that the correct verbage for dirty little texts are called 'sexting'. You can thank Amy for this tid bit of information.

Today's To-do's:

1. Laugh at my own jokes.
2. Practice my British accent with the telemarketers.
3. Learn to play Stairway to Heaven with the elastics on my braces... I've always wanted to play the guitar. Close enough.
4. Attack my kids with kisses.
5. Sexually harass my husband via text.
   
   
   

My Mothers Day

Sleeping in late.
Breakfast in bed.
Skittle filled pancakes.
Hand made cards with scribbled 'I love you's'.
Lots of hugs & lots of kisses.
Dinner at Grandma & Grandpa J's.
Ice cream sundays at Grandma & Grandpa G's.
An intense game of extreme frisbee.
Bed time & snuggles.
And a bunch more hugs & kisses from my three biggest fans.

* * * * * * * * * *

To the children who I simply adore,

I love you... every little bit & piece of you!

(in my best Austen Powers voice)
Mini-me's you complete me!

Mother of the Year Award

My friend Amy just informed me that I have been announced the 2009 Mother of the Year. It is with great joy and humility that I accept this prestigious and highly acclaimed award. I'm still in shock that I won. I thought for sure Octo-Mom had this one in the bag.

First of all, I would like to say to the man on the airplane that told me I had the three most annoying kids he has ever seen... Kiss my awesome Mother of the year, what! Yep, I'm still bitter.

Second, I would like to thank the social services for not taking away my children and making it possible for me to receive this award. Better yet, thanks to my friends, family, and blog readers for not turning me in.

I would also like to thank my three children that I birthed, love and call my own. I also need to thank Nate who shared a part in the birthing process -the more exciting, fun part.

It is an honor to receive this award that offers so much validation. It almost makes the cleaning poop off of the front porch, bed, walls, floors, and toilet worth it.

Check it out. I've made headlines. CLICK ME!

Sorry to all the other Mom's who didn't win. You're all winners to me.

PS- Yes, I did post a braces picture. Be kind.

Ham, Cheese & Mustard

Not for lunch,

but for breakfast.

Because some mornings it's just not worth the fight.