Husbands, Take Note

*Studies show that men are found to be 89% sexier when spending time with their children.

Why 89%? I don't know- it just felt right.

Throw in scrubbing the toilets and doing the dishes and that percentage raises by another 11%.
(*All studies were based on opinion only... my opinion)

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Flat Butt Syndrome

14 hours of my life were spent in a car yesterday.

I had spent the week with my sister and niece, visiting another one of my nieces in AZ.

 It was a long drive home from Douglas, AZ to Salt Lake City, UT

but I did it. I made it. 

The only side effect is a flat butt 

and a constant twitching, most likely do to 5 Hour energy drink overdose.

My sister took the 3:30-10:30 pm driving shift

and I took the 10:30 pm-6:00 am shift.

15 minutes into my drive, I got pulled over by a cop for the first time in 11 years.

Apparently, the speed limit was 45...

I was going 75.

He took pity on me and I slid away with a warning.

After that, I faithfully followed the speed limit for the next hour or so.

I was doing awesome most of my drive -Pandora on the radio, turned up high-

but the last 2.5 hours of my drive were KILLER.

I suddenly felt like Jessie from Saved By The Bell...

"I'm so excited.... I'm so excited..."

(Please tell me you know what I'm talking about)

I eventually made it home at 6:00 am safe and sound.

Everyone was still fast asleep so I quietly snuck inside and said hello to puppy millie.

She peed with excitement at the sight of me.

Then I climbed in the covers and sank into my official place in bed- spooning close to Nate.

At 9:00 am I was greeted by the kiddo's. It was a welcomed sight after 5 days of being childless.

Eden was especially happy to see me. 

I'm pretty sure she peed with excitement too.

And now, I'm dragging and I can barely think straight 

 and I feel like I'm floating and I seem to have a permanent headache

and backwards my words come out.

I'm pretty sure I'm done with all night drives...

Until the next time I decide to do another impromptu road trip with my sister.

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An official letter

Dear Friends, family, and blog stalkers,

I am no longer taking any photography clients. I decided it was time to simplify my life and since getting rid of one of my children was not an option -at least at this point- the next thing to go was my photography. I might start back up in the spring... or not. 

In the meantime, I will continue to keep up on my photography blog- I still have lots of pictures that need to be posted there.

As for the kids, they seem to be pretty excited about it....

... overwhelmingly excited about it.

Thanks so much for all the support! :)

Ginnie

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Hoarding

Question: How many tooth brushes do three small children need?

Answer: At least one for each day of the week and special holidays

 like, Christmas and Ground Hogs Day.

Tooth brush hoarding, it's real.

And odds are, someone close to you is doing it... not including me.

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Tween-dom Initiation

A good mom will sit by their child and hold their hand while they're getting braces on.

An even better mom will stand by their child wrestling their hands out of the way so that they can take a picture.

She's a lucky girl, being able to go through her awkward braces stage at such a young age. I went through my awkward braces stage little over a year ago and it wasn't nearly as cute as this. Not to mention she took it a whole lot better than I did when I got mine put on. She was all smiles and giggles trying to talk with her mouth open as wide as she possibly could so that her lips would pull back and reveal her newest accessory.

So what's next?

Shaving her legs? Wearing makeup? Talking back? Severe mood swings?

Listening to Justin Bieber full blast in her room as an act of rebellion?

. . . . .

She Smiles

A smile like this can only mean one thing,

a. she has gas.
b. she thinks I'm about to change her diaper.

c. she sees her mama.

Even though A & B are completely feasible answers, today the correct answer happens to be C, she sees me.

This is what I was welcomed home with after an afternoon of errands... a fully dirty diaper, a dirt speckled goatee (not to be confused with oreo's), and a giant toothy grin. I love me some baby Eden.

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Other stuff,

how about my most recent Facebook status:

"Macie, we do not do pliés (plee-ay) while naked."

Just a little sample of everyday verbiage used at our house.

Oct. 1, 5:40 pm

This was one of my friends response,

"My sister does great plies in the nude :) Link HERE.

Oct. 1, 7:49 pm

I'm here to testify that, indeed she does... especially in the form of a censored stick figure drawing. It was a funny little ditty. I suggest you check it out... unless you're easily offended by nude stick figures that are partially anatomically correct.

*The dates and times have absolutely nothing to do with the story. I just wanted to make it look official. I think I succeeded.

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Free Printable:: Chore Chart

In a perfect world, I would be showered, my make-up would be done, and my hair would have just the right amount of volume. The kids would all leave to school with eager smiles, give me sweet kisses good-bye, and skip out the door singing, "We love you, Mother!", in English accents.

I would spend my day being domestically domestic, chirping with song as I glide from room to room dusting and spreading cheer. My house would sparkle with cleanliness and the floors surrounding my toilets would be urine free.

My kids would return from school with those same eager smiles announcing, "School was absolutely lovely today, Mother!", with those same English accents, mind you. They would put their back-packs and shoes away in an orderly fashion and then set off to do their homework. I would give them a sweet and nutritional snack, home made of course, to fill their starving little bellies.

After homework is done and put away, they would begin to help with any other house hold chores that might need getting done... setting the table, helping with dinner, emptying the dishwasher, taking out the garbage, and rubbing my feet.

And since we're on the topic of a perfect world-- my perfect world-- the 'sisters' would be perky and the 10 extra pounds of baby weight and stretch marks would disappear... and I would have the power to fly, naturally.

I think I really love my perfect world.

Unfortunately, that world I speak of- that magical, glorious place- is not real. I know, I wish it were too... especially with the sisters being perky and all. But since the world that I live in is much less than perfect and full of crazy and chaos, I've tried to come up with something to make life a little bit more manageable.

CHORE CHARTS!

Not that chore charts are a unique idea by any means, but a cute chore chart, on the other hand, is hard to find. I scoured the internet trying to find a cute free one and never had a lot of luck. So I thought, why not make my own. Two months later (because I'm awesome at procrastination) our chore charts were printed, laminated, and ready to go.

It helps to have something visual, something that the kids can see and know what's expected of them. Something that helps them feel a sense of accomplishment. It's crazy the excitement they get just by checking off one chore. They're happy. I'm happy. And life suddenly feels a little bit more organized. (for Macie, I put my art skills to work and draw her pictures of what chores she needs to do- picture of a bed for making her bed, dishes for unloading the dishwasher...etc.)

To download your free chore chart click HERE

You can add your child's name by using photoshop or probably any other editing software. If you have any problems with the download just let me know.

Since these chore charts seemed to be such a big hit with the kids, I decided to make one for the husband. It's been fantastic! You should see how giddy with excitement Nate is every time he gets to choose a sparkly sticker to put on his chart. It's priceless!

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In which Eden winks... or at least attempts to.

The cheapest form of entertainment comes in the body of a 1 year old.

This could possibly be my favorite age... ever.

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9 Years of Abrie

She wanted a surprise birthday party and a surprise birthday she got.

We checked out a few of her friends from school and had them come over to our house

to hide and wait for Abrie to come home.

Abrie walked through the door happy and unsuspecting.

"What do you want to do today for your birthday?" I asked.

"Umm, I don't know." was her quick response

and before she knew it, 4 cute girls were jumping out yelling, "SURPRISE!".

A completely shocked Abrie could barely spit out the words,

"How did you...?! How did they...?! How could you...?! When did you...?!"

and then a high pitched squeal and a giant hug was followed by

the most enthusiastic thank you I've ever heard.

And we were off to go paint some pottery and indulge in some yummy cupcakes

for a little birthday celebration.

My Abrie, she is a happy little soul

and a mother couldn't possibly ask for more.

I'm so glad she's mine.

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Last night was insane...

at least the parts I can remember.

If I were a single 20-something year old this story would have a completely different ending, probably a more exciting, one-for-the-journal, or maybe not-for-the-journal ending.

But I am a married 30 year old with 4 kids and my life is full of a different kind of excitement.

It all started with a *drive by Diet Coke-ing and a little texting conversation with a beloved friend, Angie (insert link to Angie's family blog here, or at least I would, but she's private and that would just defeat the purpose.)

Me: Macie has probably thrown up 13 times in the past three hours. 9:01 pm

Me: Make that 15 times... 9:13 pm

Me: Now 17, and Abrie is joining in. It's going to be a long night. 9:40 pm

Me: Pretty sure I've never seen that much throw up come out of one little boy- it was everywhere. Best part is, he was in our bed... on my side. 10:40 pm

Me: Macie, Kaleb, and Abrie... It's called synchronized vomiting. 10:46 pm

Seriously. What are the odds that three of my children would have the flu at the exact same time. It was almost comedic; as I would be racing to help one child, Nate would pass me in the hall rushing another one to the bathroom.

I think if we were to add up the amount of times my kids threw up the number would be well over 50. For reals... not for fake. I don't kid when it comes to vomit.

The fun part was when I was running between Abrie, Kaleb, and Macie trying to help them, I started to feel a little bit queasy. And then, BAM! It hit me (just minus the sound effect).

At least Nate's not sick yet. Right? He can take care of me and the kids and nurse us all back to health. He'll be there to rub my back, do the dishes, and feed me grapes. And maybe, this will end up being like a mini-vacation for me. Maybe me getting the flu was divine intervention.

So I'm laying in my bed when I hear Kaleb throwing up. I turn to Nate eager to use the I'm-sick card when I see Nate stagger out of bed, but instead of rushing to help Kaleb, he ran straight for the bathroom. My visions of grapes and massages quickly disappeared.

It was kind of like that feeling when you reach for the bag of Samoa Girl Scout Cookies to eat that one last cookie you've been saving-- saving for that one special moment where just you and the cookie could be alone together-- but you reach in the bag and find that it's missing. Gone. Stolen. No where to be found. And your heart breaks just a little.

It was like that, but worse.

The rest of the night was pretty much a blur.

I remember a lot of footsteps running to and from the bathroom.

I remember thinking I'd rather natural child birth than the stomach flu... or not.

I remember hearing a lot of throwing up... in surround sound.

The sound echoed through our house and I couldn't help anyone- just myself.

The next morning Abrie was crying to me while I was laying in my bed, "Mom, I yelled a lot for you last night, but you never came. So I came and slept on your floor so you could hear me and when I called for you, you still didn't answer." Poor thing. But I couldn't help it, I was in a flu induced coma.

So we spent the day together laying around being sick. It was such a great bonding experience for all of us-

me, my husband, the children, and the can of Lysol.

P.S. The hypochondriac inside you is feeling sick now, isn't it. Or maybe that's just me.

*Drive by Diet Coke-ing- the act of driving past one's house with favorite beverage in hand, jumping out of the car placing it on the door step, knocking on the door, and then quickly running away as to not receive any germ exposure from the sick and otherwise afflicted.

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