Ask and You Shall Recieve

For those who requested (and those who didn't) this post is for you.

Before reading this I recommend checking out the below post for this to make sense, and even after reading the below post it still probably won't make sense. I get a little confused myself.

The first story is the craigs list ad and the second is Nate's response. In my opinion the mans ad was a little odd and borderline crazy. He lost me at, "And it came to pass". Nate's, on the other hand, I thought was pretty funny and clever. He was most likely inspired by the spirit.

This ad caused a little controversy due to it's title "the tent of the Anti-Christ" and sacrilegious content. Apparently I wasn't I offended, just entertained.

The craigs list ad:
And it came to pass in the days of Steven and Nancy that a voice came unto him compelling him to go forth from the domicile provided unto him by hand of Nancy and purchase unto himself a tent……….

A tent of prodigious proportions created by the masters of the Far East who stood unto 8 feet tall in the manuscript that came with the tent, even though the residents of the area and the regions around that area where known to be men of smaller stature. And the tent was to be of an unusual shape with a domed center like the common and well known yurt of the local herdsmen, and yet it had unto itself three strange projections that made the tent to be of the shape of half of a star and to be yet larger than 6 cubits by 6 cubits by 6 cubits.

And this did make him feel uneasy. For it was of an unholy shape and of unholy numbers, yet the directive in the manuscript did promise him much ease of erection and whiles of repose in the close comfort of the tent for lo, it was made with it’s skeleton within it not unlike a large spider. And thus was the web spun………….

For the 7 foot tall Oriental of the manuscript demonstrated through pictographs that the tent should be easily erected by the mere grasping of the head point and the proper movement of force would indeed place the skeleton of the tent into it’s proper structure supporting the tent and it’s projections of 6 cubits by 6 cubits by 6 cubits for the comfort and ease and repose of all the affluence of the loins of Samuel and Dora and Moishe and Ruth lo unto even and including Steven and Nancy and any effluence that they may yet produce.

And thus was he led into darkness of the valley of the tent of the anti-Christ, where no comfort is given, and no respite is found and all the days of his life where spent cursing the progenitors of the race of 8 foot tall Orientals and all the ancestors and progeny of the 8 foot tall Orientals, for in the rain and the wind and the darkness of all the campgrounds of his wandering he could not bring the tent to fruition with out much vexation and abuse of the many names of the Lord, and lo did he wrestle long with the tent and the manuscript even like Job and the Angel of the Lord with no satisfaction, till he did crawl onto an Irish reclining lounge [patty o’furniture] and pull unto himself a large tarp and bottle of spirits where he did recline in his misery and vow to give unto any who would take it away from his abode forever the Tent of The Anti-Christ.

Come and get it if you dare

remember,
Jesus loves you!
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the Tent of the Anti-Christ has chosen it's next victim

a man known at Nate,

read now his story and be forewarned

Please turn with me now, to Nathan Chapter 1: 1-7

Nate wrote:

To the one with a burden... For in the days of the Great Depression there was a man called Franz Guztav. And Franz begat Amos, and Amos begat, Scott who is the husband of Kelly. And so it was that Kelly, who obtained a normal uprising of goodly parents through the Lord, at the time of Woodstock met her one and only, Scott.

And Kelly begat a son who is Nate. A son that through his father learned the ways of the tent.

And it came to pass that in those days, Nate gained a special understanding that all tents are good. And those that are bad, with recompense and Godly sorrow may also become good. For there are none that are not loved in the eyes of the Lord (and Nate.) And so it came to pass that the years past and Nate met a woman a fair and begat sons and daughters of his own.

And thus it was that Nate and his family traveled afar to seek knowledge and understanding in the ways of Dentistry. And he came unto the “Temple” (University) to be taught on high of those with a greater understanding that would bring unto him the knowledge beyond our understanding and so great they cannot be written.

And being warned of God, at this time twenty and seven years since his birth, Nate was told that any shelter used in the forces of nature must circumscribe his wife, and son and daughters, and any other children that may come to pass. For, for this cause Nate had much concern for his family and the need for natural shelter.

And the answer came in the form of a dove descending saying, “Please, please take it away… for it is the Anti-Christ.” And Nate knew that this was not his natural mind speaking but that this was the answer from on high, not only was he able to provide shelter, he was herby presented a soul in need of recompense. A tent who’s life was led by the adversary and was about to abruptly come to a halt through change by one who was learned in the ways of the tent. For it was inspiration that this tent be presented a loving home.

And lo, this was the man’s, called Nate, request. That he be given the tent for unto him is given the ability to make it work and to provide peace unto those who have been so burdened. May your life never be burdened by fallen tents that are misled. Amen

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Now that we've been edified and purified by the spirit can I get an amen?! How about a hallelujah?! Now raise your hands in the air and say, "I believe, I believe!"

Join us next week at the church of Nate where we will discuss how cleanliness is next to Godliness and only those who fold their socks, not roll them, will make it to heaven.