Will food for work

You're thinking that doesn't sound quite right...and you're right. Just go with it...

So I have started the preparations to go home. Actually, that is a lie. I am doing nothing of the sort. I usually save everything until the last minute...it's a curse.

I have loads and loads...and loads of dirty laundry to do and I lack the desire to do them. You know it's bad when you're getting to the point when the kids ask for clean socks and you walk over to the hamper, pull out an old crumpled pair, unroll them, give 'em a good sniff, and say, "here, wear these, you could get a good 2-3 more wears out of those ones". Then they say, "but Mom I also need a clean shirt" again, reach in the hamper, pull out a shirt shake it out a bit, "Here wear this" , "but mom it's dirty!". I respond with, " Just turn it inside out. It's as good as new".

Honestly, if you lived where I lived you wouldn't want to do laundry either. I have to (while balancing two laundry baskets in my hands) walk out my door, go down 3 flights of stairs, go outside, walk to the other stairwell, open another door, walk down another flight of stairs, balance laundry baskets on my hip while unlocking the laundry room door (not only are they child baring hips but laundry balancing hips as well. Good thing my hips are multi-functional). Finally, I make it to the dark, dank, scary, prime raping spot laundry room.

We have 3 coin operated wash machines and two coin operated dryers. Technically, they really can't be called wash machines or dryers since they don't actually wash or dry anything. In fact, the clothes are probably cleaner before I put them in the wash versus after I take them out. Usually I just pray that whoever used the washers before me didn't wash any fecal contaminated items in it and hope that the bleach does it's job. Another prime reason why I hate to do laundry here is that quite often the water is brown.

Ladies and gentle men, I give you exhibit A:

This would be another time that I pray.This time I pray that the water is brown from unsettled dirt instead the sewage backing up (both viable options). And again I hope that the bleach does its job.

Next we have exhibit B: Meet Paco...

...and his friend Fernando

( I'm not quite sure why the names are of hispanic origins. It was the only thing I could think of off the top of my head)

Yes, Paco and Fernando are dead now (may they rest in peace). I happened upon them almost two weeks ago.

I was doing my laundry as normal, opened up a wash machine to throw some clothes in and noticed a dead beetle at the bottom of the wash (that should have been enough to deter me from doing my laundry). Well since my kids had already worn each pair of socks 3-4 times I decided that the laundry must be done. So like a good faithful housewife and mother I reached into the wash machine to get the bug out. While slowly reaching down I felt a mass of spiderwebs wrapping around my hand. I quickly threw my hand back, wiped off the webs and looked inside for inspection. To my disgust I found Paco just hangin' out in the bottom of the wash machine and as if one spider wasn't enough, I then found his friend Fernando. I quickly closed the lid and pulled myself together (I am scared to death of spiders, especially ones that make their homes in my washing machines). So it's on to the next machine. I open it up look inside and sure enough there was ANOTHER spider. What are the odds of that happening? (actually pretty high considering where I live). So there you have it, spider infested washing machines.

These events (and also the fact that I just hate to do laundry) have caused a dramatic decrease in my desire to do laundry. So if you see my children and they're smelling a little funky have pitty on them. They have no clean clothes to wear.

So if any one, out of the kindness of their heart, wants to offer to do my laundry. I will, in return, make you those stinkin' good, better then lovin' brownies I've told you about. (Hence the "will food for work")